Never confuse love and sex as one in the same

I will put it as bluntly as possible: Never confuse love and sex as one in the same.

They are entirely two different notions in this particular realm of infidelity.

Just because you sleep with a woman, definitely does not mean you are in love with her. There might be feeling of passion and infatuation during the sexual act, and you both might say certain things during the heat of the moment, but you always have to look at the situation objectively.

Step back from what happened and think about it rationally. Yes, the sex was probably good, but that’s all that it was, sex. A physical act between two people does not equate to an emotional bond.

You will have to learn to divide sex from love, and separate them as two coexisting, yet very different entities.

If you’re like most men then you already do this according to your social programming and through the gender role imposed upon you. However, there are a percentage of men that equate sex with a strong emotional bond and commitment with their partner. That is a wonderful thing if it’s your girlfriend, your fiancé, or your wife.

However, it is absolutely horrendous if it’s some woman you decided to keep on the side, or had a one-night stand with. First of all you don’t really love this secondary woman, but since you equate sex with love you now have all these emotions associated with her, which feel similar to love. These feelings will make you think you are in love with this new woman, when in reality you are not.

You have to learn to disengage those feelings; otherwise they will eat you alive. You are in enveloped by the feelings created through the sexual chemistry that exists between the two of you. These feelings will fade in time, and that is what you must focus on. Do not act upon these feelings initially, let them subside on their own and you will realize that you did not actually fall in love.

Never confuse love and sex, period.

A.C.

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