Having Sex with Another Woman, Does Not Mean You Don't Love Your Girlfriend… Explained

In response to the readers that disagreed with me and called for an explanation of my last blog (Having Sex with Another Woman, Does Not Mean You Don't Love Your Girlfriend!), you got your wish.

For this to work you have to view things, including the love for your girlfriend rationally.

Nothing in life is exclusive, especially when it comes to feelings. You can love something, and like something different at the same time without sacrificing your feelings for one or the other.

You can like apple pie without having to dislike every other pie, thus allowing you to enjoy peach cobbler every now and then.

You can love baseball, but that doesn’t mean you can’t immerse yourself in a good football or basketball game occasionally.

Along those same lines, you can love your girlfriend, and still get with another woman without it detracting from your feelings for your girlfriend.

In most cases, not all, when a man cheats on his girlfriend that he loves, it usually has nothing to do with feelings or emotions. Most often times the man just has a physical attraction to another woman and yearns to fulfill his sexual desires with that woman only. Afterwards his feelings for his girlfriend will be of the same magnitude as before his infidelity.

As with many things in life it you have to accept that you’re going to like multiple things in the same category. Women are no different. Just because you have love for a particular woman, doesn’t mean enjoying the company of a different woman will diminish your love for the first woman.

Your love for a Ferrari will not be diminished by taking a Lamborghini for test drive, will it?

A.C.


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Having Sex with Another Woman, Does Not Mean You Don't Love Your Girlfriend!

Having sex with another woman, does not mean you do not truly love your girlfriend.

Remember what we just discussed in my last blog; Never Confuse Love With Sex.

Sex and love are two separate issues. You can completely be in love with your girlfriend, and still cheat on her without it affecting your feelings for her.

It is easy for society to say “that if you are having sex with someone besides your significant other then you don’t truly love that significant other.” That’s a nice blanket statement which sounds quite profound and accurate upon face value. But when examined a little deeper that idea holds very little water.

To fully comprehend this point of view you must first accept the theory that sex and love are two different yet coexisting animals in the same jungle, as stated in my aforementioned blog. Otherwise, what I am about to discuss will fundamentally be foreign to your way of thinking, and you will have trouble accepting it.

In its most simplistic and vulgar form it comes down to this: If you’re fucking another woman besides your girlfriend, that’s exactly what you are doing… fucking her.

You are not making love, you are not romancing, and sure as hell you’re not looking to start a relationship with her. You are using her, in its most rudimentary form.

You are using her body as a vehicle to satisfy your sexual desires and needs. When you are finished, you leave, you have no more need for her or the service that she provides until your sexual urges return.

On the other hand, this exact same activity with your girlfriend is different. After you are finished having sex with your girl, you still need her for emotional nourishment, to spend time with, and to share your life with.

Some people would probably tell you that this not the healthiest way of looking at it, since you are separating two things that they feel should always be interlaced. But in this case, separation of these two ideas is by far the best method to employ.

If you have already had sex with another woman while you were in a committed relationship, you surely noticed the fundamentally different emotions and feelings that you were experiencing. It was far more loving, passionate, and meaningful with your girlfriend, in comparison to just the sexual and emotionless physical act with the other woman.

Keep in mind that all those sentimental feelings for your girlfriend came after a certain amount of time spent with her. You weren’t immediately in love with her after the first time you had sex with her. So why would you have all these emotional ties to a secondary woman after only engaging in a physical act with her?

It’s more natural to consider sex as just a physical act, rather than a deep-rooted emotional bond. Once you become a believer in this theory you will have more control of your emotions and feelings. This will give way to a clearer mind that can use logic to determine course of action, rather than being guided by convoluted emotional restraints.

A.C.


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Never confuse love and sex as one in the same

I will put it as bluntly as possible: Never confuse love and sex as one in the same.

They are entirely two different notions in this particular realm of infidelity.

Just because you sleep with a woman, definitely does not mean you are in love with her. There might be feeling of passion and infatuation during the sexual act, and you both might say certain things during the heat of the moment, but you always have to look at the situation objectively.

Step back from what happened and think about it rationally. Yes, the sex was probably good, but that’s all that it was, sex. A physical act between two people does not equate to an emotional bond.

You will have to learn to divide sex from love, and separate them as two coexisting, yet very different entities.

If you’re like most men then you already do this according to your social programming and through the gender role imposed upon you. However, there are a percentage of men that equate sex with a strong emotional bond and commitment with their partner. That is a wonderful thing if it’s your girlfriend, your fiancé, or your wife.

However, it is absolutely horrendous if it’s some woman you decided to keep on the side, or had a one-night stand with. First of all you don’t really love this secondary woman, but since you equate sex with love you now have all these emotions associated with her, which feel similar to love. These feelings will make you think you are in love with this new woman, when in reality you are not.

You have to learn to disengage those feelings; otherwise they will eat you alive. You are in enveloped by the feelings created through the sexual chemistry that exists between the two of you. These feelings will fade in time, and that is what you must focus on. Do not act upon these feelings initially, let them subside on their own and you will realize that you did not actually fall in love.

Never confuse love and sex, period.

A.C.

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