Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Breaking Up With Your Mistress, You Have To Do It Right

One of the most frequent questions that I get from readers pertains to breaking up with a woman after the sex/friendship has lost its interest. Usually this topic would be quick and painless to describe; simply tell her the relationship is over, self explanatory.

However, when you’re looking to end a relationship with your mistress, other woman, booty call, or whatever you’re calling her at the time… it can get messy very quickly.

There could be severe repercussions that could find their way back to your girlfriend if you don’t handle the situation with the utmost care right from the start.

The method that has worked best for me over the years is to force her break up with you. Let her make the choice that she no longer wants to be in a relationship with you. This way there are no hurt or angry feelings on her part. She feels invigorated, in control of herself and her destiny, essentially she feels good about leaving you. This is exactly what you want.

Now you don’t want to push her to this conclusion by being a complete asshole (although that would speed things up a bit), since that will be counter productive. You don’t want her to hate you and turn it into some Fatal Attraction type of shit.

You want to play on her dislikes and do things that she genuinely cannot tolerate (besides dropping hints that you’re cheating on her) which will eventually push her over the edge. For instance if she doesn’t like you hanging out all night with the boys drinking, wants you to quit smoking, or can’t stand one of your friends, then your course of action is obvious. If she has any pet peeves that drive her up the wall make sure you engage in a couple of those.

Dropping little bombs into your daily conversations like; “I never want to have children,” or “I’m going to quit my job and move back home” are a couple of gems that will get the hamster wheel turning in her mind, making her wonder if you really are the right guy for her. Which we both know you’re not.

Once you have pushed her to the break up conversation, and you can always feel this coming a couple of days in advance, just wait patiently until she wants to get together and “talk.”
You’ll be eagerly anticipating it as she comes to you with a heavy heart trying to soften the blow and let you down easy, try to not grin from ear to ear knowing she’s giving you exactly what you want, a way out!

You have to remember to treat the break up very delicately.

Try to pretend that you're genuinely remorseful about what happened between the two of you, and that you wish you could have made it work. Make it look like you cared about her and that she was more important to you than she actually was. Do not act indifferent or nonchalant. This is important because it will make her feel like she mattered to you, it will keep her in a more sad and somber state of mind rather than angry or spiteful.

You do not want to treat her as if she was immaterial since it will create the second set of emotions I just described, and it will induce them to try hurt you in return. Which of course could problems with your girlfriend if you’re finding dead rabbits at your door, or she decides to mark up your car in lip stick one day. These are the kind of things that make girlfriends wonder.
As you can see, this is a very dangerous game you have to play, especially if you want to keep this from your main girlfriend.

Under no circumstance should you ever tell any secondary woman (that doesn’t know already) that you have been seeing other women, especially during the breakup. This might prompt her on seek out the other woman (your girlfriend) and ruin that relationship to settle the score.

Try to end your relationship amicably. Let her yell at you, let her vent, let her cry, let her try to let you down easy and make sure you apologize profusely as if she was your #1 girl.
In the end most likely she'll say she doesn’t want to ever see you again, or that maybe you two can be friends (such a lie). You tell her that you will miss her, and let her walk out the door. In the end no harm will really come of this, if you play your cards right.

Think about your exit strategy before you get heavily involved with any other women. Create a time table of when to end it, plan it, and execute it.

Ending the relationship with your other woman is one of the most important steps in Cheating On Your Girlfriend and Not Getting Caught.

Take Care,

Add to


Anonymous said...

YOU are an asshole. You are what is wrong with the world. Would it really be so hard for you and your ego to just date women if you need to be with more than one, instead of playing with your "Main Girlfriends" emotions and trust? Is that really so hard for you? You are such a coward, that you need to have a girl waiting at all times, thinking she is your one and only. I can't even believe how disgusting your actions are. The height of ugliness in my eyes. You are the reason I want to believe in Karma. I hope you get yours in the end.

Anonymous said...

Not bad kid, not bad at all.

Anonymous said...

Nice....I'm gonna use the "playing on her pet peeves" tactic. Thanks for the write-up....

Anonymous said...

I am cheating now and want out of the relationship with the mistress. At first it was just fine we were both married and looking for something different. After the relationship started I she has become more clingy and wants me to leave my wife. I don't want to do this and realized how much I've risked for this fling. I need to break it off. I don't think the cheating game is for me.
What do you think about tell the mistress that I'm going to tell my wife what has been going on to break off the relationship, without telling my wife?

Anonymous said...

What a manipulative worm you are! You are all about the "lack of control" you truly will never have and you must feel you have to manipulate to get your way. See a mental healthcare need it.

Anonymous said...

I left my wife for this one lady who has 4 kids. And she treats me like shit but the sex is good. I'm trying to get rid of her but she won't let up. We live in a smalltown and I hope your tactic works

Anonymous said...

this is genious! lol. It's funny because i think all guys at least TRY to do this in there own way. Some are just better at the execution than others. Let me say this to all the haters in this post giving you a hard time. Don't be so judgemental This artical is not a reflection of this persons charecter. You dont know how he go tin the situation or why. All you know is he is detailin g a amicable exit stratagy. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't be so high and mighty. We were created in Gods image and I beleive we have the ability to love MORE than one person just like God. Get off of your high horse and stop being so arrogant and judgeme ntal. Heck thats why a lot of guys cheat in the first place. Girls become so arrogant and confident once the "I Do's" are said. They dont beleive they have to go the extra mile. They dont beleive they hgave to keep you because out of some arbitrarysince of cosmic moral convictions guys are supposed to just STAY un happy. it doesnt work like that.

Anonymous said...

thank you. this just happened to me. for awhile, she was so excitable that i thought she'd stalk me, or visit our house. so i stayed with her, but didn't keep our dates ontime, or I'd cancel last minute. she finally broke with me, acting very superior, as if id chased her, when really she chased me. I admit i miss her and the attention and sex, but not the drama and anger. we're not meant to be together. ending is the best thing bc I wasn't willing to end my marriage for her. I need a girlfriend, not another wife.

Anonymous said...

Amen, Brother

Anonymous said...

Wow, I feel like I found a group of dudes that get it. I am married, and hooked up with another married woman. She's been awesome with business, and so much fun. I got sick of the demands and pressure. She constantly tells me I spend too much time with my kids and not enough with her (albeit, I only see her when I want to have sex or talk business). Anyway, this is great. I could execute this with ease. I'll keep you posted. Thanks boys. Ps, I got myself another gf ontop of this. Was upfront about the family and kids. Had sex (twice in a night) and she's like 12 yrs younger than me. Now she's hooked too. I'm sticking to pros from now on!

Anonymous said...

We started out married, my mistress and I, and then she divorced her husband. A year and half into our relationship she realized I would never leave my wife and son so she just started moving on. She started dating and asking me if it was ok. Our relationship (mistress and I) began with us not holding back and telling eachother everything so when she asked me if it was ok to date I knew she was tired of our relationship because it was a dead end. We love eachother a lot but its going nowhere. The only reason i didnt leave my wife is i would lose my son in the process. They would move upstate to live at home with her parents.

My married relationship has improved dramatically but there are still many issues we're working on. She knows ive cheated on her(thanks Facebook) but she asked for me/us to work on our marriage. So we're communicating more but problems in the bedroom havent been resolved.

Being married isnt effortless.

Anonymous said...

Only criticism, how you are recommending to break up with your 'mistress' sounds like how I would break up with my girlfriend. I mean, why would my mistress hate that I'm out with the boys all night? Shes my mistress...not my girlfriend. Lets say Im trying to just fuck and maybe take the girl to ice cream or some shit to make her feel more at ease time to time, eventually Ill get tired of dealing with her plus juggling my gf, soooooooo how would I delicately end things with the ice cream girl? I dont want her telling my gf or killing me....PLease respond to this, cuz it could be HELLA helpful! (yeah im from Cali, hella hella)

Anonymous said...

Only criticism: How you are recommending I break up with my 'mistress' sounds like how I would break up with my girlfriend...

I mean, why would my mistress hate that I'm out with the boys all night? Shes my mistress...not my girlfriend.

Lets say Im trying to just fuck some girl, and maybe take the girl to ice cream or some shit to make her feel more 'at ease' time to time.. Eventually Ill get tired of dealing with her PLUS juggling my gf......

soooooooo how would I delicately end things with the ice cream girl? I dont want ice cream girl telling my gf or killing me....

PLease respond to this, cuz it could be HELLA helpful! (yeah im from Cali, hella hella)