Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Different Degrees of Infidelity

There are different levels of infidelity, some much more subtle than others.What I most often discuss in my blogs is full-on sexual intimacy with another woman, the most blatant of all sins in a monogamous relationship.

But what about the lesser evils, little things that most of us have been guilty of at one time or another?

1. What about the guy that befriends a woman and forms an emotional bond, that develops in a strong friendship? He shares with her intimate details of his life and she reciprocates. They spend quite a bit of time together without any physical contact, but nevertheless their friendship blossoms far more than just normal interaction between a man and a woman? Should this guy’s girlfriend consider this cheating. Should he hide this friendship from his girlfriend in an effort not to upset her?

2. What about the woman who during a night out with the girls gets a little too intoxicated and subtly exchanges a kiss with a guy on the dance floor? They spend the night dancing together and talking, but at the end of the evening they go their separate ways without exchanging any contact information. With her sexual appetite is revitalized by feeling desired by another man, she goes to her boyfriend who receives her full-on sexual attention and release. Should her boyfriend, in this case, consider her actions as cheating?

3. Having lunch with your ex? Even if nothing sexual transpires, just the situation itself is suspicious. The fact that you’re spending time with someone you once had an intimate relationship with, both emotionally and physically, can be called into question. Should the other party consider this cheating?

It all comes down to your own point of view. All of these situations are subjective to personal interpretation whether you would consider it cheating.

I will address it from a cheaters perspective;

Forming a non physical friendship with a member of the opposite sex, no matter how intimate of an emotional bond it might become, this still can’t be considered cheating. I can understand how some girlfriend’s can feel betrayed by this, but without any physical contact I don’t think it can be construed as anything more than just a close friendship. But if the man involved is smart, he will keep this from his girlfriend to eliminate the potential jealousy that might develop.

Kissing is usually not cheating, depending on the situation and frequency. But if it happens only once, under accidental circumstances especially if alcohol was involved, then it could be considered just that; an accident. However, if the frequency increases then it can be seen as cheating, amplified if she is kissing the same person numerous times.

If you consider having lunch with your ex cheating then you are far too jealous and attached to your partner. If nothing sexual occurs then you should have enough confidence in yourself and your relationship to overlook such circumstances. Now if this becomes a regular occurrence then you might want to keep your eye on the situation, but once or twice a year should not raise any alarms.

But as stated earlier, much of how you feel about this depends on your point of view. Let me know what you think about these different degrees of infidelity, or if you even consider them as infidelity.

Also if there are other subtle levels of cheating that I might not have addressed, let me know and I will give you my point of view.

How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend and Not Get Caught… on the Radio.

Catch your favorite Cheater on BlogTalkRadio!
April 25th on one of the top rated relationship/romance talk shows… The Game.Veteran Broadcast Journalist Mel Hopkins and The Professor bring you, THE GAME. Real relationship talk where you'll learn how to outwit, outplay and outlast your lover, featuring the writer of the How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend and Not Get Caught Blog.

April 25th, 6pm.
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Take Care,
A.C.

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