Why Stay With Your Girlfriend & Cheat on Her, Rather Than Break Up and Date Other Women Freely?

Continuing with the theme from last week, I going to answer another one of frequently asked questions/offered suggestions from readers.

Don’t cheat on your girlfriend, just do the honorable thing and break up with her and be single if you want to date multiple women.

This is easier said than done. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that it’s not quite that easy to break up with someone, let alone someone that you care about and have feelings for.

At this point I always get the response “How can you say that you care about someone if you’re cheating on him/her?” That’s an entirely different discussion which I have addressed frequently and will again, but not in this blog.

For the sake of this discussion we will assume that if you’re in a relationship with someone you have some sort of feelings for that person and care about them to a certain extent.
So why not break up, and pursue other women without any restrictions?

Like I mentioned before, you might have feelings for your girlfriend and want to stay with her, but at the same time want to be with other women sexually. That’s probably the most common reason for men. We don’t want to break up with our women, we just want to have our cake and eat it too, after all what good is the cake if you can’t eat it?

Perhaps you have a certain tie to your girlfriend that doesn’t allow for a quick, easy breakup.
-You live with your girlfriend.
-You and your girlfriend have children together.
-You have financial ties to her that make a breakup an unviable option.

There are some guys just don’t know how to break up with their women and are scared of the confrontation. So they figure if they get caught dating another woman, their girlfriend might do them a favor and leave them. Not saying I endorse this method, but if this is the only way you can get out of your relationship then maybe it might be worth it for you.

For some people these reasons probably don’t seem all that strong or legitimate enough to deceive their significant other and cheat on them. But for others, it does. Remember it’s easy to judge and make painless decisions when you don’t have any skin in the game. You have to have walked in the other person’s shoes before you can understand the full scope of issues and emotions they are dealing with.

If any of you can have other reasons why you rather stay with your girlfriend and cheat on her, rather than break up and date other women freely, feel free to comment.

Take Care,

A.C.


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Why Cheat on Your Girlfriend? Instead Establish an Open Relationship with Her and be Honest.

One of the most frequent questions/suggestions I get from readers continues to be some variation of the following;

1. Why cheat on your girlfriend? Instead establish an open relationship with her and be honest.

2. Don’t cheat on your girlfriend, just do the honorable thing and break up with her and be single if you want to date multiple women.

These two ideals are always easily suggested and like most easy solutions to any problem they sound quite reasonable in theory. But applying them to a real life scenario is entirely different. Let’s tackle both of these reader comments/questions individually.

Why cheat on your girlfriend? Instead establish an open relationship with her and be honest.

This solution has multiple problems that need to be addressed before it can be practically implemented as it stands.

First, once you establish an exclusive relationship with a woman having her agree to an open relationship afterwards is increasingly difficult as time goes on, if not impossible altogether. To most women an exclusive relationship is what they strive for, to find that one special guy, and to keep him forever. That’s why women are so infatuated with marriage and finding their one true love. So once they have an exclusive relationship with a man, asking them to revert to an open relationship would be viewed as a step backwards in their eyes. After all she has spent all this time dating her man trying to become his only woman. Now you want her to go back to the dating pool and be equal with all the other women available. I doubt that would fall on receptive ears, why would she agree to be relegated to a lower status after attaining exclusivity?

It’s the inverse of the old marketing philosophy; you can start at a higher price for your product and lower the price, but very rarely can you start at a lower price, raise prices. Once the public has gotten used to a certain price, they won’t be too receptive to a raise in prices. Same is true of a exclusive relationship from a woman’s point of view; once she has been exclusive she wont be too receptive of being cast back with all the other women in the dating pool.

Second, once you propose this to your woman most likely she’ll want to end the relationship with you out of frustration thinking you’re not worth the effort, or guilt you into rethinking your position. If you agree to drop the whole thing then you have already played your hand and she knows you’re thinking about dating other women and she’ll be scrutinizing your actions far more closely adding extra strain on your relationship as well as your ability to date other women on the low.

Third, honestly how many women can this actually work with? I mean come on, 95% of the women won’t go for this scenario. I haven’t come across too many women who thought this was a viable scenario, and I have run it by quite a few of women in committed relationships. The women who suggest this are always unattached when they have no feelings for any guy so it’s an easy fix. But I’d like to get some opinion from these same women once they have a boyfriend for a couple of months and see what they say.

Fourth, if you’re woman does agree to it, are you comfortable enough with her dating other guys? Because you can be sure that after you just downgraded her, and she knows you’re going to be dating other women, that she’ll be going out on dates as well, maybe just to spite you.

In the next blog, I’ll address the second question/suggestion from readers:

Don’t cheat on your girlfriend, just do the honorable thing and break up with her and be single if you want to date multiple women.

Take Care,
A.C.


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Getting Caught Cheating on Your Girlfriend by Your Friends

So what’s the big deal with getting caught by your friends? This is often overlooked and its significance underappreciated, but its effect can be far reaching.

Caught by Your FriendsWhen you get caught by your friend you’re assuming that this person is your friend; you have nothing to worry about right? Wrong. You need to asses very quickly what type of friend this person is. A close trustworthy friend that you know can keep a secret, even from his significant other, or will he/she quickly blab their new found information to their mate? If it’s the latter, you have to reason impress upon them not to share their newfound information with their significant other. However, you’ll have to assume that this knowledge is too juicy for them to keep bottled up permanently, and sooner or later their mate will know about your indiscretion. Thus you have to ensure that you don’t bring your girlfriend to any social occasion where your friend will bring his/her significant other, at least until you switch girlfriends, or your friend switches significant others.

Another aspect of friendship that you have to keep an eye is whether if any of your friends have a soft spot for your girlfriend, whether it be a friendship or aspirations for something romantic. If you think this friend of yours wants to get with your girlfriend, he might use this information to try and break up your relationship. If you feel this is the case, then you have to keep your girlfriend away when you interact with your friend. Make sure that your buddy doesn’t have a way to get in touch with your girlfriend (i.e. her employment information, email, cell phone, etc.). Make sure that you never mass email your girlfriend and friends since he could pluck her email from the list. If you do make sure to hide everyone’s email from all the recipients (a best practices tip).

A final derivative of your friend catching you cheating scenario is something of an anecdote, but should be taken as a cautionary tale…

A few years back I started hanging out with this guy who I met through a friend. He seemed cool and we had some good times going to bars/clubs pickin up on chicks together (full disclosure; I had a girlfriend at the time which he knew about). At the same time he was intimately involved with his best friend (who was female) while she was dating one of his close friends. A few times we went out together where we both brought our women along, and they struck up an artificial friendship. His “girl” and my girl exchanged numbers and emails, much to my chagrin. We hung out together a few times but not on a regular basis.

In the interest of expediency I will fast forward the story a few months. Apparently, unknown to me, I had done something to hurt this guy’s feelings (should have known since he acted like a little pussy at times) so we had stopped hangin out as much. I didn’t notice since I was busy with other things, I just thought so was he. Not the case, he was pissed and it was building from day to day, especially that I didn’t call him and acknowledge it. Somewhere along the way my girlfriend called his “best friend” to get his number to set up a group function. Once she called him, he made sure to tell her about the times he and I had gone out (that my girl didn’t know about) and even made up some stories about me having another girl on the side (I did, but he never knew about that, exactly the reason why I don’t tell my friends about my infidelities.). Nevertheless, my girl came to me upset crying and angry demanding an explanation. Since he had no specifics about any of my “supposed” other women his story was easy to dispute and dismiss. But the he did rat me out about lying to her about the bars and clubs. That cost me a couple of days of tantrums from my girlfriend, but eventually it all resolved itself.

However, your lesson from that story is to pick your friends carefully, and if any of them ever have any incriminating story that could cost you your relationship with your girlfriend, make sure their interaction is limited and well supervised. Don’t ever let your girl become friends with one of your friends or their significant other because you’ll never know when it will come back to haunt you.

Most people are your friend only as long as it is convenient for them (with rare exceptions), when they turn on you everything you trusted them with will become a weapon, if they chose to use it. Be careful how well you arm them.

Hope you have found this series about how to handle getting caught cheating on your girlfriend useful. I will have one final note on this topic in my next blog.

Take Care,
A.C.


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Tell Your Mistress “Thanks for the Memories” this Thanksgiving

With the holiday season fast approaching it’s time to start eliminating the complications in your life. By complications I mean the rotation of women you have collected the last few months.

As you know, the holiday season is a busy time of year for everyone regardless. But it’s an especially frustrating and busy time for cheating on your girlfriend. As a cheater you now have to worry about duplicates for everything; buying multiple Christmas presents, disposing of multiple gift receipts, keeping track of what you bought for whom, going to multiple holiday parties, trying to avoid all the holiday photos that might get you caught, etc.

Not to mention the upcoming New Year’s Eve conundrum of which woman you will spend it with, you obviously cannot be with more than one woman, so a choice has to be made. One of them will be disappointed greatly and be very upset with you. At times like this I suggest you pick your girlfriend, the other woman can always be replaced.

This is why I’m calling your attention to this early. To give yourself a relaxing (as relaxing as any holiday season can be) enjoyable holiday season, you should start planning on how you’re going to cut you secondary women loose. You can wait until after Thanksgiving, but don’t let it drift too far into December since then you might feel obligated to keep them around for Christmas which eventually leads into New Years and you’re right where I warned you not to be in the first few paragraphs of this blog.

Set a date a few days after Thanksgiving and stick to that plan. Then spend the holiday season with your girlfriend, and start the whole rotation with brand new women for the New Year.

Take Care,
A.C.


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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Family

Another likelihood is that you might inadvertently get caught cheating by someone in your own family. Whether this person is part of your immediate family or more of a distant relative will determine how you approach this situation. In either case you have quite a bit of room and leverage here.

Caught by Your Family
Since this person in most cases is loyal to only you and probably views your girlfriend as someone passing through in your life, thus they don’t feel the need to form an attachment to her.

First, make sure you keep her away from this relative and don't attend functions when you know this family member will be present. You don’t want your Aunt to get to chatty with your girlfriend a few months down the road at a holiday party and let slip that she saw the two of you together at a restaurant, but it wasn’t really the you and your girlfriend, it was you and one of your other women. After a few drinks your Aunt probably won’t be able to remember who she saw you with, just that it was a female and most likely it was your girlfriend. However your girlfriend will have no such disillusions with her memory, then you’ll have some explaining to do.

Second, talk to this relative and ask him/her to keep quiet about the matter since you are family, and that you will handle it personally. Once this discussion has been had the relative will know to keep this topic discreet, and even if they gab about it, it should only stay within the family circles.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with a scenario that is often overlooked and underestimated; getting caught cheating by one of YOUR friends.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,
A.C.


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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Mistres

The woman you were hiding from your girlfriend is the one that found out about your “other woman.” You got caught by the wrong woman, which is just right for you. She doesn’t know it but this puts you in the drivers seat, and does most of the work for you.

Caught by Your Mistress
If you get caught by one of your secondary women you really haven't lost all that much. In fact they might have actually done you a favor since it gives them a reason to leave you. Since you were going to get rid of them eventually anyway, there is no real harm done.

But there are some important things to keep in mind just so it doesn't get ugly. Try to pretend that you're genuinely remorseful about what happened and admit that you did a horrible thing.

Make it look like you cared about her and that she was more important to you than she actually was. Don’t act indifferent or nonchalant. This is important because it will make her feel like she mattered to you, it will keep her in a more somber state of mind rather than angry and vengeful. You don’t want to treat her as if she never mattered (irregardless of the truth) since it will create the second set of emotions I just described, and it will induce her to try to get revenge. That becomes a very dangerous proposition; especially you are trying to keep this from your main girlfriend.

Also, never tell any secondary woman that the girl they found out about is your #1 girl. This might prompt your mistress on seek out your girlfriend and ruin that relationship to settle the score. Try to end your relationship with your mistress amicably. Let her yell at you, let her vent, and make sure you apologize profusely as if she was your #1 girl. In the end most likely she'll say she doesn’t want to ever see you again, which is what you want. You should tell her that you will miss her, and let her walk out the door feeling empowered that she left a no good cheater like you behind… just like you wanted.

In the end no harm will really come of this, if you play your cards right.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series, sometimes getting caught can work to your advantage as long as you’re slick enough to exploit the situation.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,

A.C.


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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Girlfriend’s Coworker

The coworker scenario rears its ugly head once again. If you had followed my advice and avoided your girlfriend’s work functions then you wouldn’t be in this dilemma. Well hindsight’s 20/20 right? What you want to know is how to handle this problem, read on then.

Caught by Your Girlfriend’s Co-workerIf a co-worker catches you, then you have more options at your disposal than with the previously mentioned scenarios.

More than likely your girlfriend has already told you her involvement with this coworker at the office when giving you background on them before or during the introduction at that fateful office function you attended.

Armed with this knowledge you should have a good idea of how closely this coworker interacts with your girlfriend.

If you have a pretty good feeling that the coworker who caught you doesn’t have a close relationship with your girlfriend then you can act casual about the whole incident since they probably don’t know your girlfriend’s personal situation very well. Make it appear as if nothing is wrong making them assume that you and your girlfriend are no longer dating (this will help explain it to the woman your with as well) and speak of your girlfriend in the past tense. Once everyone has gone their separate ways, wait to see if your girlfriend ever mentions that her coworker saw you. If not then your little rouse worked and the coworker assumed you two were no longer together. Under no circumstances should you even mention that you saw one of her coworkers, this will lead her to ask that coworker questions which will result in the truth coming out. Stay quiet and you should be able to get out of this without any problems.

If the coworker is close with your girlfriend, then you’ll have to be contrite and tell the coworker that you know what you did was wrong, and to allow you a chance to tell your girlfriend personally, since you think it should come from you rather than someone else. This will allow you to spin the story in whatever direction you think will save your relationship. Make sure you tell your girlfriend in the following two days, that’s about the window of opportunity that you’ll have before the coworker spills the beans for you.

Sometimes, depending on how close this co-worker is with your girlfriend you can even be as bold to ask them not say anything and to please keep the matter just between the two of you. Sometimes they will agree to this just to avoid the embarrassment of having to tell their co-worker, your girlfriend, about having seen her boyfriend cheating on her.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series, but as you can see most of the time your options are limited and not very good. If you can employ my techniques on how not to get caught, hopefully you’ll never have a reason to use any of the tactics in this particular series.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,

A.C.



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