Getting Caught Cheating on Your Girlfriend by Your Friends

So what’s the big deal with getting caught by your friends? This is often overlooked and its significance underappreciated, but its effect can be far reaching.

Caught by Your FriendsWhen you get caught by your friend you’re assuming that this person is your friend; you have nothing to worry about right? Wrong. You need to asses very quickly what type of friend this person is. A close trustworthy friend that you know can keep a secret, even from his significant other, or will he/she quickly blab their new found information to their mate? If it’s the latter, you have to reason impress upon them not to share their newfound information with their significant other. However, you’ll have to assume that this knowledge is too juicy for them to keep bottled up permanently, and sooner or later their mate will know about your indiscretion. Thus you have to ensure that you don’t bring your girlfriend to any social occasion where your friend will bring his/her significant other, at least until you switch girlfriends, or your friend switches significant others.

Another aspect of friendship that you have to keep an eye is whether if any of your friends have a soft spot for your girlfriend, whether it be a friendship or aspirations for something romantic. If you think this friend of yours wants to get with your girlfriend, he might use this information to try and break up your relationship. If you feel this is the case, then you have to keep your girlfriend away when you interact with your friend. Make sure that your buddy doesn’t have a way to get in touch with your girlfriend (i.e. her employment information, email, cell phone, etc.). Make sure that you never mass email your girlfriend and friends since he could pluck her email from the list. If you do make sure to hide everyone’s email from all the recipients (a best practices tip).

A final derivative of your friend catching you cheating scenario is something of an anecdote, but should be taken as a cautionary tale…

A few years back I started hanging out with this guy who I met through a friend. He seemed cool and we had some good times going to bars/clubs pickin up on chicks together (full disclosure; I had a girlfriend at the time which he knew about). At the same time he was intimately involved with his best friend (who was female) while she was dating one of his close friends. A few times we went out together where we both brought our women along, and they struck up an artificial friendship. His “girl” and my girl exchanged numbers and emails, much to my chagrin. We hung out together a few times but not on a regular basis.

In the interest of expediency I will fast forward the story a few months. Apparently, unknown to me, I had done something to hurt this guy’s feelings (should have known since he acted like a little pussy at times) so we had stopped hangin out as much. I didn’t notice since I was busy with other things, I just thought so was he. Not the case, he was pissed and it was building from day to day, especially that I didn’t call him and acknowledge it. Somewhere along the way my girlfriend called his “best friend” to get his number to set up a group function. Once she called him, he made sure to tell her about the times he and I had gone out (that my girl didn’t know about) and even made up some stories about me having another girl on the side (I did, but he never knew about that, exactly the reason why I don’t tell my friends about my infidelities.). Nevertheless, my girl came to me upset crying and angry demanding an explanation. Since he had no specifics about any of my “supposed” other women his story was easy to dispute and dismiss. But the he did rat me out about lying to her about the bars and clubs. That cost me a couple of days of tantrums from my girlfriend, but eventually it all resolved itself.

However, your lesson from that story is to pick your friends carefully, and if any of them ever have any incriminating story that could cost you your relationship with your girlfriend, make sure their interaction is limited and well supervised. Don’t ever let your girl become friends with one of your friends or their significant other because you’ll never know when it will come back to haunt you.

Most people are your friend only as long as it is convenient for them (with rare exceptions), when they turn on you everything you trusted them with will become a weapon, if they chose to use it. Be careful how well you arm them.

Hope you have found this series about how to handle getting caught cheating on your girlfriend useful. I will have one final note on this topic in my next blog.

Take Care,
A.C.


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