Why Cheat on Your Girlfriend? Instead Establish an Open Relationship with Her and be Honest.

One of the most frequent questions/suggestions I get from readers continues to be some variation of the following;

1. Why cheat on your girlfriend? Instead establish an open relationship with her and be honest.

2. Don’t cheat on your girlfriend, just do the honorable thing and break up with her and be single if you want to date multiple women.

These two ideals are always easily suggested and like most easy solutions to any problem they sound quite reasonable in theory. But applying them to a real life scenario is entirely different. Let’s tackle both of these reader comments/questions individually.

Why cheat on your girlfriend? Instead establish an open relationship with her and be honest.

This solution has multiple problems that need to be addressed before it can be practically implemented as it stands.

First, once you establish an exclusive relationship with a woman having her agree to an open relationship afterwards is increasingly difficult as time goes on, if not impossible altogether. To most women an exclusive relationship is what they strive for, to find that one special guy, and to keep him forever. That’s why women are so infatuated with marriage and finding their one true love. So once they have an exclusive relationship with a man, asking them to revert to an open relationship would be viewed as a step backwards in their eyes. After all she has spent all this time dating her man trying to become his only woman. Now you want her to go back to the dating pool and be equal with all the other women available. I doubt that would fall on receptive ears, why would she agree to be relegated to a lower status after attaining exclusivity?

It’s the inverse of the old marketing philosophy; you can start at a higher price for your product and lower the price, but very rarely can you start at a lower price, raise prices. Once the public has gotten used to a certain price, they won’t be too receptive to a raise in prices. Same is true of a exclusive relationship from a woman’s point of view; once she has been exclusive she wont be too receptive of being cast back with all the other women in the dating pool.

Second, once you propose this to your woman most likely she’ll want to end the relationship with you out of frustration thinking you’re not worth the effort, or guilt you into rethinking your position. If you agree to drop the whole thing then you have already played your hand and she knows you’re thinking about dating other women and she’ll be scrutinizing your actions far more closely adding extra strain on your relationship as well as your ability to date other women on the low.

Third, honestly how many women can this actually work with? I mean come on, 95% of the women won’t go for this scenario. I haven’t come across too many women who thought this was a viable scenario, and I have run it by quite a few of women in committed relationships. The women who suggest this are always unattached when they have no feelings for any guy so it’s an easy fix. But I’d like to get some opinion from these same women once they have a boyfriend for a couple of months and see what they say.

Fourth, if you’re woman does agree to it, are you comfortable enough with her dating other guys? Because you can be sure that after you just downgraded her, and she knows you’re going to be dating other women, that she’ll be going out on dates as well, maybe just to spite you.

In the next blog, I’ll address the second question/suggestion from readers:

Don’t cheat on your girlfriend, just do the honorable thing and break up with her and be single if you want to date multiple women.

Take Care,
A.C.


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