Beware of the ID Bracelet

I was out on date last week with a girl that I’ve been working into my rotation, and after a few drinks she decided that we should go bowling. I didn’t see much harm in this suggestion since my girlfriend does not bowl, nor do any of her friends, so it should be relatively safe venue to continue the date with little worry of getting caught.

I took her to the only bowling alley I knew of in the area, being prime time Friday night all the lanes were occupied. I made sure to use her name for reserving the next available lane, which would be a minimum 45 minute wait. Since they announce it over the loudspeaker and in a crowded place like that you don’t want any added eyes drawn to you as you go up to claim your reservation. After all you never know who is there to notice you, that wouldn’t have if you’re name wasn’t being called out on a speaker.

To pass the time we headed for the small bar located at the far end, I made sure we got a table towards the back, it’s far less conspicuous that way.

We were engrossed in our conversation when we realized that we needed to go up to the bar to order our initial drinks. It was my turn to buy so I went to order our drinks.

They asked for my ID and without giving it a second thought I handed it over for their inspection. But to my surprise, instead of just reading it and giving it back the woman behind the bar dashed off with it to the corner of the bar. I watched her slide my ID into a machine that looked like a credit card scanner at a grocery store checkout line.

She waited a few seconds, and nothing happened, so she scanned the card again. This time judging by the approval in her body language, the action she was expecting the first time from the machine was occurring. Suddenly a short strip of paper printed out, like a receipt. I had to check my wallet to make sure I didn’t give her a credit card rather than my ID (I’ve had a few drinks throughout the night so I was wondering how buzzed I actually was). But I was right; she had my ID not a credit card, so what the hell was she charging?

I eagerly anticipated her return since I was curious to what just transpired.
The woman walks up to me with this strip of paper and explains that it’s an ID printout that I have to wear as a bracelet to get served alcohol. Then she proceeds to put it on my wrist, branding me for the rest of the evening there.

I was annoyed by this since now not only do I have my name for the entire world to see on my wrist, it’s also labeled with the bowling alley’s name, and the date. This breaks one of my standing rules when you’re out on a date with your mistress; never do anything that might create a written record of your whereabouts (Regular readers have heard me espouse this topic numerous times).

So here I am breaking one of my own commandments, just to get a couple of drinks, and my mind is running about the possible consequences of this oversight. My main concern was not only my identifying bracelet, but the fact that my date would want to look at it to see what it was. The dilemma with was that she doesn’t know my full name, she only knows me by my middle name (she assumes it’s my first name and I never felt the need to correct her, the less she knows about me the better). This might initiate a conversation that I’d rather not have, so while the bartender is pouring our drinks I discreetly cut the bracelet off with my car keys.

I should have been more careful, should have watched the other patrons and noticed that they are wearing ID bracelets. Well, hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

I went back to the table, we had our drinks, then we had a few more (Thanks to the same bartender I didn’t have an issue with the ID bracelet again), never actually bowled, went back to her place and finished the evening properly, if you know what I mean.

But the moral of this story is this; Beware of the ID bracelet. I’m not sure how prevalent these ID scanning, bracelet making machines are (It’s the first time I have ever come across one), but you should make sure you keep an eye out for them, whenever you go to a venue that you’re unaccustomed to.

They are dangerous when you’re cheating, not only for the reasons that I described, but also for the fact that it leaves an electronic record of where you were on the scanner. It might not be important at the time, after who will have access to it right? But if for some reason your whereabouts of that night are questioned, somewhere this electronic record will exist, which could potentially cause you problems.

This is just another way to get caught, if you’re not on your toes.

Take Care,
A.C.

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Nobody Has To Know - The Cheaters Soundtrack

“To be unfaithful you got to have faith in the first place.”

I have found the theme song for this year’s blog.

Naturally it has a tie in with infidelity, and a nice little beat to it as well. I’m listening to it as I write this blog.

With lyrics like…

“Technically I was still with her, and you were with some other guy, nobody knew you’d have an on the side.”

…this is definitely our kind of song. Something every cheater can relate to, and enjoy without inhibition.

It’s called “Under Wraps” by The Innocent Bystanders.

You can check out the video and the song on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNE1EJ_Eb1o

I’m supporting my fellow MySpacers... you get to The Innocent Bystanders page here:http://www.myspace.com/innocentbystandersmusic

Enjoy.

A.C.

Nobody has to know, Nobody has to know…

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Text Messaging Privacy for Cheaters

Since text messaging has become an increasingly popular way to communicate with one another, this probably plays a role in your infidelity somehow. Whether its texts to your mistress or your girlfriend, you’re bound to run into a situation where texting privacy comes into play.

Here are a few tips that can vastly enhance your text messaging privacy.

1. Users of any technology issued by an employer shouldn't expect to have any privacy. Any data sent or stored is privy to those with power inside that company, so keep your personal dealings to your personal technology. Simply put use your own phone to text your girlfriend and your mistress. If you really want to play it safe, get a phone dedicated to your mistresses and one for normal usage (friends, family, girlfriend, etc.).

2. Don't ever text personal information about your infidelity to anyone, not even your closest friends. Remember, once you send that information to another person, it gets stored in their cell phone and you don't want that. You don’t know which one of your friend’s girlfriends scans their text logs.

3. Put a password on your phone to keep others from accessing your text logs or email. This will also prevent thieves from stealing information stored in your phone.

4. Many cheaters are cavalier in their texting habits and routinely forget to delete their received and sent text logs on their phones, which can leave them vulnerable to an inquisitive girlfriend or mistress. Be sure that you regularly maintain both these logs as well as the saved draft section where you can store texts that you designate for sending at a later time.

5. iPhone owners may want to change their SMS preview settings to make incoming text messaging more private. Apple iPhone Review has very well written instructions on how to do this.

6. Don't forget to erase all your personal data before selling, recycling or donating your old phone. Many people are still under the impression that taking out your SIM card will do the trick, but that's not true. You'll need a series of codes to permanently delete stored information in one step, instead of manually.

Finally, the ultimate security of private text messages depends on the recipient and how safe they can keep the information you sent them. If you have any second thoughts or reservations, then don’t send it. Call the person instead, that way there is no record of what information you sent or what you said.

Take Care,
A.C.



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Reassuring Your Girlfriend & Excuses To Get Away For The Night

Routinely I answer questions from readers that email me, and occasionally I receive some that I think are worthwhile sharing with everyone. So in that light here is couple of questions from one of my dedicated readers that I thought could benefit the rest of you cheaters out there.

"I have 2 questions, if your #1 girl suspects you of cheating, how do you reassure her that you aren't? "

"What are good lies to tell your #1 girl about were you will be on a given night?"

Thanks for the support. I appreciate you reading my blog, glad it provides some pastime for you.
To answer your questions...

1. If your girl suspects you of cheating then you've done something to give her that idea. Left clues, changed your behavior, changed you usual schedule or activities, in short you fucked up somewhere. Figuring it out (if you don't already know) might be worthwhile, but it might also be difficult since sometimes women just get a feeling. So what I say is to curtail your cheating for a few weeks, tell the mistress that you'll be busy for a while. Take this time away from your other women to make things the way they were with your girl before you started cheating, to reassure her that she is over reacting. Once she has calmed down you can get back to your mistress, but more carefully this time.

2. Some good excuses to use with your main girl where you will be on a given night specific to your life. But you should keep the following in mind; use excuses that she can't readily verify on her own. So if you say you're doing something with your family that should work. If you have a work environment where you can say you have a work function such as a offsite meeting or department party for your boss that should be ok. You can use the work late excuse once in a great while but not too often and make sure she can’t come to the office if you work corporate. If you have one trusted friend that won’t blab tell her you're hangin out with him and make sure he knows the lie so he can back you up later. If you play sports like basketball then you can tell her you found a new park/gym to play pick up games at night and that they have alighted court. You look like you work out a lot so tell her you read an article in a weight lifting magazine where they said that working out later in the evening leads to higher muscle definition and better results and you're going to try that program out for a week or two.

The key is make sure she can't check up on what you're supposed to be doing.

A.C.



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Splitting Valentines Day Between My Girlfriend and My Mistress

In my last blog, Valentines Day and Cheating on Your Girlfriend, I discussed why you should break up with all your mistresses before Valentines Day. If you didn't take the advice,here's a personal anecdote about splitting Valentines Day between two women that should serve as a good warning.

A while back I was dating two women simultaneously, my trademark. One was my girlfriend. The other one thought she would be my girlfriend and was aligning herself to assume that role, unknowing of the fact that position had been filled long before she ever came along.
For ease of story we’ll name my girlfriend in this story Jenny, and my wannabe girlfriend Katilynn.

Now, I debated for some time to break up with Katilynn before Valentines Day ever came along, but I was fond of her so I wanted to keep her for a while longer. This was against my usual standard operating procedure.

Usually I make it a explicit rule that I only have one girl around Valentines Day, but against my better judgment I decided to try to split V day between the two of them.

At this point a little back story is necessary for you to have full grasp of the situation. Jenny lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, where I had been living as well. After we got together and were dating for a while I moved back to Los Angeles. We decided to try and maintain the long distance relationship, which was pretty sweet for me since she couldn’t really keep an eye on me. Which meant I could freelance all I wanted without any repercussions, a cheaters dream scenario.
Then I met Katilynn in LA and in no time we hooked up as well. I happened to like her more than I usually like a secondary woman, which turned out to be my mistake.

Fast forward to Valentines Day… I had two women with equal anticipation that I would be their one and only Valentines Day sweetheart in two different cities 500+ miles apart.
They both expected something special from me and I was intent on delivering for both of them.

You’re starting to feel my dilemma now, huh?

But, for some inane reason I assumed I could pull this off, pretty arrogant, but that’s just the way I roll sometimes. One of these days I will learn my lesson I’m sure.
My only saving grace was that V Day fell on weekday, meaning a work day.

Plus, it was also a pretty safe scenario since the dates would take place in cities great distances apart, so there would be no chance of getting seen by anyone that could expose me. That’s what put it over the top, no worries of getting caught, I could make both women happy, and I would be the Casanova of the year for this one, or so I thought.

I told Katilynn I would take her out Valentines evening, while I planned to fly up to the bay and see Jenny during the day.

I told Jenny I would take the day off and fly up the night before so I could spend the special day with her. I wanted to make it sound more extravagant distract her from thinking about why I’d be missing Valentines night.

Our Valentines Day together in San Francisco which went off without a hitch, it was a wonderful day between two lovers.

Here’s where the drama ensues…

My flight back to LA left at 6 pm, so I assumed I’d be back by 7:45 at the latest. It was an hour flight which gave me enough time to get home, change and pick up Katilynn for our 8:45 reservation.

The flight was late. Each minute of the delay I was silently cursing the airline and my luck for foiling my plans. Instead I should have been cursing myself for getting into that predicament in the first place.

I got back to LA 8:30. I hadn’t been able to call Katilynn all day since I was with Jenny. No doubt she was worried and angry… that was her personality. She was really volatile sometimes, that’s what attracted me to her in the first place, but it’s a double edged sword when you mess up, which I had… big time.

I had to go straight from the airport to Katilynn’s house, unable to change or pick up her gift at my house. By the time I knocked on her door it was 9 pm.
Katilynn was pissed that I hadn’t called and that we missed our reservation, not to mention I showed up with no flowers or gift.

Her fury was in its full splendor that night. At the height of her anger I was dodging a glass vase and some ceramic plates. She was so pissed she mistook some paper plates in her anger for real plates and threw those at me too, pretty damned funny. In retrospect I shouldn’t have laughed at that openly… that’s what prompted the vase.

I really had no solid explanation for my absence and tardiness. She just kept calling me an asshole for neglecting her on that day. What could I say, really that would rectify the situation? I was with my real girlfriend in San Francisco? Nah, that wouldn’t fly too well, she would have probably getting out the steak knives.

I didn’t plan ahead. I had to make up some poor conceived lie about having to help out a friend that was stuck in San Diego and needed a ride back to LA. It was all bullshit and she knew it but she was so angry it never dawned on her what other reasons I might have had for missing Valentines Day.

The second half of that Valentines Day was totally ruined by my ambitious plans. I felt Katilynn’s wrath for a couple of weeks thereafter, and I had to work pretty hard to get back into her good graces. I had to orchestrate a makeup Valentines Day date which cost me considerably more than what a regular V day date would cost, so you know it was pricey.

I learned a lesson that I already knew, never try to split Valentines Day between two women.
Hopefully you can learn from my mistake.

Just to update everyone to present times, I am no longer seeing either Jenny or Katilynn. Both of those relationships ended a while back.

However, on a positive note Katilynn and I do hook up a booty call every now and then… for old times sake.

A.C.


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Valentines Day and Cheating on Your Girlfriend

The ominous day fast approaches… fellow cheaters. It’s the worst day in the year for anyone cheating on their girlfriend or dating multiple women… Valentines Day.

February 14th!

This is a busy time of year for every man regardless. But it’s an especially frustrating and busy time for cheating on your girlfriend. As a cheater you now have to make a decision, for this is one day, an occasion that cannot be split in half to accommodate two women.This day has been built up by retailers of flowers, candy, jewelers and everything else gift related towards women, as HER special day.

It has been engrained in women that this is THEIR SPECIAL DAY, and unfortunately there is no way around this.

You only have a finite amount of time during the Valentines Day season, and a secondary woman will encroach upon that tremendously.

As a cheater you have to make a choice, period.That’s why I am writing this blog concerning Valentines Day two weeks in advance, so you have time to plan out your strategy and make a decision.

On holidays, especially Valentines Day, you have to be remorseless towards the secondary women in your life. No matter how much they whine (which they will), cry, make a blatant attempt to guilt you, get angry, threaten, and yell at you, do not give in.

As I mentioned before you can only have one woman on Valentines Day, so you will need to either break up with your secondary women, or come up with one hell of an excuse why you can’t spend Valentines Day with her.

But under no circumstances should you try to get out of spending Valentines Day with your girlfriend in favor of another woman, this is a certain tip off that you have something going on behind her back. Not to mention, she will be tremendously upset with you, and making up for it will entail weeks of work. This usually forces unnecessary strain on your relationship with your girlfriend which would have never existed if you weren’t dating other women, so I strongly recommend against it. At times like this I suggest you pick your girlfriend, the other woman can always be replaced.

The best option at this time of year is to cut your secondary women loose before Valentines Day begins, preferably before February starts. This will allow you to concentrate on only your girlfriend without any of the ancillary problems created by additional women in your life.

Don’t ever forget that you’re using these secondary women for only physical reasons, but you have an emotional attachment to your girlfriend. She comes first. You can always find more like them, but you cannot find another like your girlfriend.I urge you to initiate your break up with your secondary women as soon as possible, so all the drama and heartache can play out a couple of weeks before Valentines Day. There is nothing worse than an emotional, spurned woman a day before Valentines Day. With all the hoopla and build up on TV and in the stores it will only contribute to her disappointment and anger. That’s something you should definitely avoid.A.C.


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Hiding Financial Signs of Infidelity

I came across an article on CNBC today that I thought was quite interesting; “9 financial signs of marital infidelity,” (http://www.bankrate.com/cnbc/news/pf/20080103_marital_infidelity_a1.asp), by Jay MacDonald.

This was originally taken from "Is He Cheating On You? 829 Telltale Signs," by Ruth Houston.
Even though our blog is dedicated to Cheating On Your GIRLFRIEND and Not Getting Caught, not cheating on your SPOUSE, the clues left behind can still apply to those of you who live with your girlfriend.

By the way, just for a quick clarification, this blog frowns upon cheating on your wife or husband. Once you pull the trigger for marriage you should adhere to the vows and the contract you make. Plus, if you get caught most likely she’ll take half, and NO roll in the hay is worth that.
Now back to the article. I’m going to list the “9 Signs” and how to combat them in case your girlfriend decides to read that article.

Here are the 9 financial warning signs of infidelity:

1. Credit card statements that reflect charges for flowers, jewelry or other gift items that the spouse did not personally receive.

Solution:
As you know from my previous blogs, try to avoid leaving financial statements out in the open where your girlfriend can get her hands on them. These days you can choose to receive email or electronic statements that you have to log in on the credit card issuer’s web site to view. There is no reason to have a mailed statement go to you shared residence where your girl has access to it. Ensure that you log onto these accounts from work, your parents’ house, or a friend’s house in case your girlfriend has a key logging software installed on your home shared computer without your knowledge.

Also, you should try to pay for these items for your mistress in cash to reduce the paper trail.


2. Unauthorized or surprise withdrawals from joint bank accounts.

Solution:
Always keep a separate bank account and never make any type of withdrawal from a joint account that you have with your girlfriend. In fact, don’t ever establish a joint account with your girlfriend and you’ll never encounter this problem.


3. Deposit slips or bank statements that indicate the existence of a previously unknown checking or savings account in the wife's/husband's name only.

Solution:
Again subscribe to online statements and never print a receipt or keep any deposit slips. The less evidence you create the less there is to discover.


4. The liquidation of assets (stocks and bonds, stamp or coin collections, artwork, etc.) without a plausible explanation.

Solution:
Just don’t do this. If you own anything jointly with your girlfriend that you need to sell to cover some expense for your mistress, just borrow the money instead. Your girlfriend will always keep track of and demand to know where that money went since it was partly hers as well.


5. Misrepresentation of or failure to mention raises, bonuses or overtime pay.

Solution:
If you don’t have a joint checking account then you don’t have to explain to your girlfriend any increase in your income regardless of it being a raise, bonus, or overtime pay. She has no access to your account therefore she doesn’t know any better.

If you do have a joint account, however, then ask that any bonuses get paid to you on a separate check that you can deposit in your separate account. If you want to complicate things you can split your direct deposit from your employer to funnel extra money from raises to be deposited to your personal account while the rest goes into your joint account, you’ll just have to do some math to figure it out.


6. Income tax returns that reveal unexplained or previously unknown travel-related deductions.

Solution:
No deduction can be worth enough to call your relationship into jeopardy. Do not under any circumstances disclose any travel related deductions that pertain to your infidelity. It’s not worth it, especially if you figure that you get about $0.30 for every dollar deduction that you claim.


7. Financial records (canceled checks, receipts, money orders or other documents) that indicate a spouse is maintaining a separate residence or has been paying someone else's bills.

Solution:
First of all, never pay for your mistress’s bills or housing. That’s just plain stupid and makes you a sucker. Now you have two women dependent on you, your girlfriend and mistress. Plus you’re begging to get caught since it leaves too much of a paper trail that can be verified if need be.

Second, if you’re maintaining a second residence just rent a room and pay in cash, makes it much easier to hide any evidence of continuous monthly payments.


8. A sudden decrease in disposable income.

Solution:
Not much you can do about this one. If you have two women you have double the expenses so you’ll have to curtail some of your discretionary spending. However, if you can work your mistress in slowly the decrease should not be a sudden and therefore much less noticeable. Ease her in.


9. An increase in ATM withdrawals.

Solution:
Just make larger less frequent ATM withdrawals and budget ahead for your future dates with your mistress. Also this will keep the location of the ATM off of the statement so if your girlfriend is privy to that information she can’t ask questions about where you were and what you were doing there when you were supposed to be elsewhere.

As you can tell by reading my solutions most of your problems can be eliminated by not forming any joint financial accounts with your girlfriend and making sure that you receive all your financial statements electronically where only you have access to them.

Cheating can be hidden as long as you plan ahead and think about how you could potentially get caught. If there is no solution for a trail of evidence in your infidelity, then it’s not worth the risk. You can always find another girl or another way to cheat, you don’t have to jeopardize your relationship.

I want to thank both John MacDonald and Ruth Houston for the inspiration for this particular blog, my audience and I appreciate it.

Take Care,
A.C.


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