Getting Caught Cheating on Your Girlfriend by Your Friends

So what’s the big deal with getting caught by your friends? This is often overlooked and its significance underappreciated, but its effect can be far reaching.

Caught by Your FriendsWhen you get caught by your friend you’re assuming that this person is your friend; you have nothing to worry about right? Wrong. You need to asses very quickly what type of friend this person is. A close trustworthy friend that you know can keep a secret, even from his significant other, or will he/she quickly blab their new found information to their mate? If it’s the latter, you have to reason impress upon them not to share their newfound information with their significant other. However, you’ll have to assume that this knowledge is too juicy for them to keep bottled up permanently, and sooner or later their mate will know about your indiscretion. Thus you have to ensure that you don’t bring your girlfriend to any social occasion where your friend will bring his/her significant other, at least until you switch girlfriends, or your friend switches significant others.

Another aspect of friendship that you have to keep an eye is whether if any of your friends have a soft spot for your girlfriend, whether it be a friendship or aspirations for something romantic. If you think this friend of yours wants to get with your girlfriend, he might use this information to try and break up your relationship. If you feel this is the case, then you have to keep your girlfriend away when you interact with your friend. Make sure that your buddy doesn’t have a way to get in touch with your girlfriend (i.e. her employment information, email, cell phone, etc.). Make sure that you never mass email your girlfriend and friends since he could pluck her email from the list. If you do make sure to hide everyone’s email from all the recipients (a best practices tip).

A final derivative of your friend catching you cheating scenario is something of an anecdote, but should be taken as a cautionary tale…

A few years back I started hanging out with this guy who I met through a friend. He seemed cool and we had some good times going to bars/clubs pickin up on chicks together (full disclosure; I had a girlfriend at the time which he knew about). At the same time he was intimately involved with his best friend (who was female) while she was dating one of his close friends. A few times we went out together where we both brought our women along, and they struck up an artificial friendship. His “girl” and my girl exchanged numbers and emails, much to my chagrin. We hung out together a few times but not on a regular basis.

In the interest of expediency I will fast forward the story a few months. Apparently, unknown to me, I had done something to hurt this guy’s feelings (should have known since he acted like a little pussy at times) so we had stopped hangin out as much. I didn’t notice since I was busy with other things, I just thought so was he. Not the case, he was pissed and it was building from day to day, especially that I didn’t call him and acknowledge it. Somewhere along the way my girlfriend called his “best friend” to get his number to set up a group function. Once she called him, he made sure to tell her about the times he and I had gone out (that my girl didn’t know about) and even made up some stories about me having another girl on the side (I did, but he never knew about that, exactly the reason why I don’t tell my friends about my infidelities.). Nevertheless, my girl came to me upset crying and angry demanding an explanation. Since he had no specifics about any of my “supposed” other women his story was easy to dispute and dismiss. But the he did rat me out about lying to her about the bars and clubs. That cost me a couple of days of tantrums from my girlfriend, but eventually it all resolved itself.

However, your lesson from that story is to pick your friends carefully, and if any of them ever have any incriminating story that could cost you your relationship with your girlfriend, make sure their interaction is limited and well supervised. Don’t ever let your girl become friends with one of your friends or their significant other because you’ll never know when it will come back to haunt you.

Most people are your friend only as long as it is convenient for them (with rare exceptions), when they turn on you everything you trusted them with will become a weapon, if they chose to use it. Be careful how well you arm them.

Hope you have found this series about how to handle getting caught cheating on your girlfriend useful. I will have one final note on this topic in my next blog.

Take Care,
A.C.


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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Family

Another likelihood is that you might inadvertently get caught cheating by someone in your own family. Whether this person is part of your immediate family or more of a distant relative will determine how you approach this situation. In either case you have quite a bit of room and leverage here.

Caught by Your Family
Since this person in most cases is loyal to only you and probably views your girlfriend as someone passing through in your life, thus they don’t feel the need to form an attachment to her.

First, make sure you keep her away from this relative and don't attend functions when you know this family member will be present. You don’t want your Aunt to get to chatty with your girlfriend a few months down the road at a holiday party and let slip that she saw the two of you together at a restaurant, but it wasn’t really the you and your girlfriend, it was you and one of your other women. After a few drinks your Aunt probably won’t be able to remember who she saw you with, just that it was a female and most likely it was your girlfriend. However your girlfriend will have no such disillusions with her memory, then you’ll have some explaining to do.

Second, talk to this relative and ask him/her to keep quiet about the matter since you are family, and that you will handle it personally. Once this discussion has been had the relative will know to keep this topic discreet, and even if they gab about it, it should only stay within the family circles.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with a scenario that is often overlooked and underestimated; getting caught cheating by one of YOUR friends.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,
A.C.


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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Mistres

The woman you were hiding from your girlfriend is the one that found out about your “other woman.” You got caught by the wrong woman, which is just right for you. She doesn’t know it but this puts you in the drivers seat, and does most of the work for you.

Caught by Your Mistress
If you get caught by one of your secondary women you really haven't lost all that much. In fact they might have actually done you a favor since it gives them a reason to leave you. Since you were going to get rid of them eventually anyway, there is no real harm done.

But there are some important things to keep in mind just so it doesn't get ugly. Try to pretend that you're genuinely remorseful about what happened and admit that you did a horrible thing.

Make it look like you cared about her and that she was more important to you than she actually was. Don’t act indifferent or nonchalant. This is important because it will make her feel like she mattered to you, it will keep her in a more somber state of mind rather than angry and vengeful. You don’t want to treat her as if she never mattered (irregardless of the truth) since it will create the second set of emotions I just described, and it will induce her to try to get revenge. That becomes a very dangerous proposition; especially you are trying to keep this from your main girlfriend.

Also, never tell any secondary woman that the girl they found out about is your #1 girl. This might prompt your mistress on seek out your girlfriend and ruin that relationship to settle the score. Try to end your relationship with your mistress amicably. Let her yell at you, let her vent, and make sure you apologize profusely as if she was your #1 girl. In the end most likely she'll say she doesn’t want to ever see you again, which is what you want. You should tell her that you will miss her, and let her walk out the door feeling empowered that she left a no good cheater like you behind… just like you wanted.

In the end no harm will really come of this, if you play your cards right.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series, sometimes getting caught can work to your advantage as long as you’re slick enough to exploit the situation.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,

A.C.


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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Girlfriend’s Coworker

The coworker scenario rears its ugly head once again. If you had followed my advice and avoided your girlfriend’s work functions then you wouldn’t be in this dilemma. Well hindsight’s 20/20 right? What you want to know is how to handle this problem, read on then.

Caught by Your Girlfriend’s Co-workerIf a co-worker catches you, then you have more options at your disposal than with the previously mentioned scenarios.

More than likely your girlfriend has already told you her involvement with this coworker at the office when giving you background on them before or during the introduction at that fateful office function you attended.

Armed with this knowledge you should have a good idea of how closely this coworker interacts with your girlfriend.

If you have a pretty good feeling that the coworker who caught you doesn’t have a close relationship with your girlfriend then you can act casual about the whole incident since they probably don’t know your girlfriend’s personal situation very well. Make it appear as if nothing is wrong making them assume that you and your girlfriend are no longer dating (this will help explain it to the woman your with as well) and speak of your girlfriend in the past tense. Once everyone has gone their separate ways, wait to see if your girlfriend ever mentions that her coworker saw you. If not then your little rouse worked and the coworker assumed you two were no longer together. Under no circumstances should you even mention that you saw one of her coworkers, this will lead her to ask that coworker questions which will result in the truth coming out. Stay quiet and you should be able to get out of this without any problems.

If the coworker is close with your girlfriend, then you’ll have to be contrite and tell the coworker that you know what you did was wrong, and to allow you a chance to tell your girlfriend personally, since you think it should come from you rather than someone else. This will allow you to spin the story in whatever direction you think will save your relationship. Make sure you tell your girlfriend in the following two days, that’s about the window of opportunity that you’ll have before the coworker spills the beans for you.

Sometimes, depending on how close this co-worker is with your girlfriend you can even be as bold to ask them not say anything and to please keep the matter just between the two of you. Sometimes they will agree to this just to avoid the embarrassment of having to tell their co-worker, your girlfriend, about having seen her boyfriend cheating on her.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series, but as you can see most of the time your options are limited and not very good. If you can employ my techniques on how not to get caught, hopefully you’ll never have a reason to use any of the tactics in this particular series.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,

A.C.



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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Girlfriend’s Family

In the last edition we discussed what to do if you get caught by your girlfriend’s friend. In this edition we discuss getting caught by her family, a much more volatile situation.

Caught by Your Girlfriend’s Family
If you get caught by one of your girlfriend’s family members, as always, it all depends on who catches you.

If it’s a distant cousin, uncle, or an in law then you have an opportunity to reason with them in the same way as if you were caught by one of her friends. They probably don’t really want to deal with the whole situation, having to tell your girlfriend the bad news. So you might be able to get away with one there by promising to tell your girlfriend yourself and then simply not following through. Hopefully the next time your girlfriend will see this family member will be so far in the future that it will be a moot point, or the family member has forgotten. Just make sure you don’t show up to your girlfriend’s family functions for a while, so you don’t provide an opportunity for that distant cousin to remember. You know what they say, out of sight out of mind.

But if it’s her immediate family such as her Mother, Father, Sister or Brother then most likely they will be so upset with you that they won't give you the opportunity to explain yourself. They will go straight to your girlfriend and tell her what they know right after they let you know exactly what they think of you.

Getting caught this way is particularly bad since this person is in her family, and every time your girlfriend looks at this relative she will be reminded of your indiscretion. So the chance of her forgiving and forgetting, and moving on with your relationship will be very difficult.

Plus, gossip in within family spreads like wild fire and soon most relatives will know what you did. Since family always sticks together you just have made a gang of new enemies. Imagine how this might feel at a Christmas party with her family present, not a very inviting scene.
If you have been caught by your girlfriend’s family, let us know what happened and how you managed the situation.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with circumstances that offer a greater opportunity for you save your relationship with your girl.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,
A.C.

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Getting Caught Cheating by Your Girlfriend’s Friend

In the last edition we discussed what to do if you get caught by your girlfriend, that’s obviously the worst that could happen. If you get caught by someone else you have some options available to you. From here on out things get easier, in comparison to the aforementioned predicament.
As always, it all depends on who catches you. Today we will discuss how to handle one of your girlfriend’s friends getting wise to your infidelity.

Caught by Your Girlfriend’s Friends
If a friend of your girlfriend’s catches you, your woman will know by the end of the day, thus it’s imperative that you act quickly and decisively. If you know that you have been caught, you can try to reason with this friend but it‘ll most likely fall upon deaf ears since her allegiance is to your girlfriend, not to you. You can tell the friend that you know what you did was wrong, and to allow you a chance to tell your girlfriend personally, since you think it should come from you rather than someone else. To certain people this might actually make you seem somewhat contrite and hopefully they will grant you this favor, and save them the awkward situation of having to reveal this information themselves.

But how is this any different than the friend telling your girlfriend, after all she will find out either way, right? Well, right and wrong. Yes, she will find out, but it if you want to have any hopes of salvaging your relationship then it is far more important that it comes from you. Somehow there is some sort of virtuous feeling involved if you take it upon yourself, plus most women would rather find out from their significant other rather than from a third party. Finally, and most importantly, this will allow you to spin the story in whatever direction you need to save your relationship.

By personally confessing your sins to your girlfriend you will catch her off guard and you will have a chance to tell her your "story" while she is still in shock and disbelief. But if she finds out from a third party, by the time she gets to you she will have had plenty of time to build up her anger and she will be seeking to release that on you. She won't care what you have to say since she will be far too upset to listen.

Also, if YOU tell her, it will save her the public embarrassment of having someone else tell her, giving the situation an air of discretion.

Remember as long as you control the information you can soften the blow by selectively revealing and camouflaging aspects of your indiscretions, as opposed to your girlfriend getting the gory embellished details from her friend. By the time it gets discussed between the two of them the focus will be on your girlfriend’s pain and healing rather than what actually happened, which can make the difference in saving your relationship.

All your girlfriend needs to know is that you were unfaithful, the details can and should be minimized by you. Damage control, take the initiative and tell her yourself, but only tell her what you want her to know.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with circumstances that offer a greater opportunity for you save your relationship with your girl.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,

A.C.

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If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend Part 1

All right, worst-case scenario: you get caught. I have two words for you; crisis management. What you’ll have to do (and quickly I might add) is to minimize the crisis as much as possible.
I know this is a situation that you probably don’t even want to think about, let alone plan for. But any good player knows they must have a contingency plan in place for the most unfortunate of circumstances. You should be prepared for the worst and if that never comes to fruition, then you can consider yourself lucky that you weathered the storm.

Chances are the more you cheat, the more the odds will stack up against you. You're better off mentally preparing yourself for the inevitable, as well as having a plan to fall back on, instead of standing there with you mouth agape, flushed with embarrassment with an inability to say anything in your defense.

At this point information is your best friend. You’ll have to find out how you got caught, who saw you, how much they saw, how much they know, and most importantly whether your girlfriend knows about it yet.

First things first, it all depends on who catches you. This might seem immaterial since the truth of the matter is that you have been exposed, but you have some options depending on whom you are discovered by.

Caught by Your Girlfriend
This is again, obviously the worst-case scenario, that’s why I am addressing it first. If your girlfriend catches you, in most instances you are screwed and your relationship is over. However, it depends on the degree to which you are caught with your pants down, if you will. If she only finds traces of another girl, perhaps some panties or a romantic letter, then you might be able to deceive her into believing that those are left over from a previous relationship that you kept as a memento.

You might be able to fast talk her out of leaving you since she does not have irrefutable evidence that you actually slept with someone else, therefore she does not have the graphic image of you engaging in a sexual act with another woman. That is very important since the mental image of you with another woman will live with her forever.

If previous relationship memento leftover lie does not apply, then you can try and own up to some of your infidelity by admitting that some new girl had been showing you interest and somehow managed to catch your attention. But you realized that it was wrong and have put a stop to it, and that you were trying to find the right time to talk about it. This will still keep the door open, however slightly, to reconciliation and perhaps your girlfriend’s forgiveness.
But if your girlfriend finds a used condom or walks in on you engaging in sexual activity with another girl, it’s over. She will have that image in her mind and it will forever burn in her memory making it unbearable for her to remain in a relationship with you. You might as well save yourself the time and indignity of groveling for her forgiveness; accept that you made a mistake and move on.

As for the girl you got caught with, if she doesn't know you have a girlfriend, you can kiss her goodbye as well. You cheated on your girlfriend with her, making her feel like a home wrecker, so why would she want a relationship with you after that? You already demonstrated your unfaithfulness to your girlfriend, why would she think you would be true to her?

With the doomsday scenario addressed, I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with circumstances that offer a greater opportunity for you save your relationship with your girl.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,
A.C.

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