Reassuring Your Girlfriend & Excuses To Get Away For The Night

Routinely I answer questions from readers that email me, and occasionally I receive some that I think are worthwhile sharing with everyone. So in that light here is couple of questions from one of my dedicated readers that I thought could benefit the rest of you cheaters out there.

"I have 2 questions, if your #1 girl suspects you of cheating, how do you reassure her that you aren't? "

"What are good lies to tell your #1 girl about were you will be on a given night?"

Thanks for the support. I appreciate you reading my blog, glad it provides some pastime for you.
To answer your questions...

1. If your girl suspects you of cheating then you've done something to give her that idea. Left clues, changed your behavior, changed you usual schedule or activities, in short you fucked up somewhere. Figuring it out (if you don't already know) might be worthwhile, but it might also be difficult since sometimes women just get a feeling. So what I say is to curtail your cheating for a few weeks, tell the mistress that you'll be busy for a while. Take this time away from your other women to make things the way they were with your girl before you started cheating, to reassure her that she is over reacting. Once she has calmed down you can get back to your mistress, but more carefully this time.

2. Some good excuses to use with your main girl where you will be on a given night specific to your life. But you should keep the following in mind; use excuses that she can't readily verify on her own. So if you say you're doing something with your family that should work. If you have a work environment where you can say you have a work function such as a offsite meeting or department party for your boss that should be ok. You can use the work late excuse once in a great while but not too often and make sure she can’t come to the office if you work corporate. If you have one trusted friend that won’t blab tell her you're hangin out with him and make sure he knows the lie so he can back you up later. If you play sports like basketball then you can tell her you found a new park/gym to play pick up games at night and that they have alighted court. You look like you work out a lot so tell her you read an article in a weight lifting magazine where they said that working out later in the evening leads to higher muscle definition and better results and you're going to try that program out for a week or two.

The key is make sure she can't check up on what you're supposed to be doing.

A.C.



Add to del.icio.us

Splitting Valentines Day Between My Girlfriend and My Mistress

In my last blog, Valentines Day and Cheating on Your Girlfriend, I discussed why you should break up with all your mistresses before Valentines Day. If you didn't take the advice,here's a personal anecdote about splitting Valentines Day between two women that should serve as a good warning.

A while back I was dating two women simultaneously, my trademark. One was my girlfriend. The other one thought she would be my girlfriend and was aligning herself to assume that role, unknowing of the fact that position had been filled long before she ever came along.
For ease of story we’ll name my girlfriend in this story Jenny, and my wannabe girlfriend Katilynn.

Now, I debated for some time to break up with Katilynn before Valentines Day ever came along, but I was fond of her so I wanted to keep her for a while longer. This was against my usual standard operating procedure.

Usually I make it a explicit rule that I only have one girl around Valentines Day, but against my better judgment I decided to try to split V day between the two of them.

At this point a little back story is necessary for you to have full grasp of the situation. Jenny lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, where I had been living as well. After we got together and were dating for a while I moved back to Los Angeles. We decided to try and maintain the long distance relationship, which was pretty sweet for me since she couldn’t really keep an eye on me. Which meant I could freelance all I wanted without any repercussions, a cheaters dream scenario.
Then I met Katilynn in LA and in no time we hooked up as well. I happened to like her more than I usually like a secondary woman, which turned out to be my mistake.

Fast forward to Valentines Day… I had two women with equal anticipation that I would be their one and only Valentines Day sweetheart in two different cities 500+ miles apart.
They both expected something special from me and I was intent on delivering for both of them.

You’re starting to feel my dilemma now, huh?

But, for some inane reason I assumed I could pull this off, pretty arrogant, but that’s just the way I roll sometimes. One of these days I will learn my lesson I’m sure.
My only saving grace was that V Day fell on weekday, meaning a work day.

Plus, it was also a pretty safe scenario since the dates would take place in cities great distances apart, so there would be no chance of getting seen by anyone that could expose me. That’s what put it over the top, no worries of getting caught, I could make both women happy, and I would be the Casanova of the year for this one, or so I thought.

I told Katilynn I would take her out Valentines evening, while I planned to fly up to the bay and see Jenny during the day.

I told Jenny I would take the day off and fly up the night before so I could spend the special day with her. I wanted to make it sound more extravagant distract her from thinking about why I’d be missing Valentines night.

Our Valentines Day together in San Francisco which went off without a hitch, it was a wonderful day between two lovers.

Here’s where the drama ensues…

My flight back to LA left at 6 pm, so I assumed I’d be back by 7:45 at the latest. It was an hour flight which gave me enough time to get home, change and pick up Katilynn for our 8:45 reservation.

The flight was late. Each minute of the delay I was silently cursing the airline and my luck for foiling my plans. Instead I should have been cursing myself for getting into that predicament in the first place.

I got back to LA 8:30. I hadn’t been able to call Katilynn all day since I was with Jenny. No doubt she was worried and angry… that was her personality. She was really volatile sometimes, that’s what attracted me to her in the first place, but it’s a double edged sword when you mess up, which I had… big time.

I had to go straight from the airport to Katilynn’s house, unable to change or pick up her gift at my house. By the time I knocked on her door it was 9 pm.
Katilynn was pissed that I hadn’t called and that we missed our reservation, not to mention I showed up with no flowers or gift.

Her fury was in its full splendor that night. At the height of her anger I was dodging a glass vase and some ceramic plates. She was so pissed she mistook some paper plates in her anger for real plates and threw those at me too, pretty damned funny. In retrospect I shouldn’t have laughed at that openly… that’s what prompted the vase.

I really had no solid explanation for my absence and tardiness. She just kept calling me an asshole for neglecting her on that day. What could I say, really that would rectify the situation? I was with my real girlfriend in San Francisco? Nah, that wouldn’t fly too well, she would have probably getting out the steak knives.

I didn’t plan ahead. I had to make up some poor conceived lie about having to help out a friend that was stuck in San Diego and needed a ride back to LA. It was all bullshit and she knew it but she was so angry it never dawned on her what other reasons I might have had for missing Valentines Day.

The second half of that Valentines Day was totally ruined by my ambitious plans. I felt Katilynn’s wrath for a couple of weeks thereafter, and I had to work pretty hard to get back into her good graces. I had to orchestrate a makeup Valentines Day date which cost me considerably more than what a regular V day date would cost, so you know it was pricey.

I learned a lesson that I already knew, never try to split Valentines Day between two women.
Hopefully you can learn from my mistake.

Just to update everyone to present times, I am no longer seeing either Jenny or Katilynn. Both of those relationships ended a while back.

However, on a positive note Katilynn and I do hook up a booty call every now and then… for old times sake.

A.C.


Add to del.icio.us

Valentines Day and Cheating on Your Girlfriend

The ominous day fast approaches… fellow cheaters. It’s the worst day in the year for anyone cheating on their girlfriend or dating multiple women… Valentines Day.

February 14th!

This is a busy time of year for every man regardless. But it’s an especially frustrating and busy time for cheating on your girlfriend. As a cheater you now have to make a decision, for this is one day, an occasion that cannot be split in half to accommodate two women.This day has been built up by retailers of flowers, candy, jewelers and everything else gift related towards women, as HER special day.

It has been engrained in women that this is THEIR SPECIAL DAY, and unfortunately there is no way around this.

You only have a finite amount of time during the Valentines Day season, and a secondary woman will encroach upon that tremendously.

As a cheater you have to make a choice, period.That’s why I am writing this blog concerning Valentines Day two weeks in advance, so you have time to plan out your strategy and make a decision.

On holidays, especially Valentines Day, you have to be remorseless towards the secondary women in your life. No matter how much they whine (which they will), cry, make a blatant attempt to guilt you, get angry, threaten, and yell at you, do not give in.

As I mentioned before you can only have one woman on Valentines Day, so you will need to either break up with your secondary women, or come up with one hell of an excuse why you can’t spend Valentines Day with her.

But under no circumstances should you try to get out of spending Valentines Day with your girlfriend in favor of another woman, this is a certain tip off that you have something going on behind her back. Not to mention, she will be tremendously upset with you, and making up for it will entail weeks of work. This usually forces unnecessary strain on your relationship with your girlfriend which would have never existed if you weren’t dating other women, so I strongly recommend against it. At times like this I suggest you pick your girlfriend, the other woman can always be replaced.

The best option at this time of year is to cut your secondary women loose before Valentines Day begins, preferably before February starts. This will allow you to concentrate on only your girlfriend without any of the ancillary problems created by additional women in your life.

Don’t ever forget that you’re using these secondary women for only physical reasons, but you have an emotional attachment to your girlfriend. She comes first. You can always find more like them, but you cannot find another like your girlfriend.I urge you to initiate your break up with your secondary women as soon as possible, so all the drama and heartache can play out a couple of weeks before Valentines Day. There is nothing worse than an emotional, spurned woman a day before Valentines Day. With all the hoopla and build up on TV and in the stores it will only contribute to her disappointment and anger. That’s something you should definitely avoid.A.C.


Add to del.icio.us

Hiding Financial Signs of Infidelity

I came across an article on CNBC today that I thought was quite interesting; “9 financial signs of marital infidelity,” (http://www.bankrate.com/cnbc/news/pf/20080103_marital_infidelity_a1.asp), by Jay MacDonald.

This was originally taken from "Is He Cheating On You? 829 Telltale Signs," by Ruth Houston.
Even though our blog is dedicated to Cheating On Your GIRLFRIEND and Not Getting Caught, not cheating on your SPOUSE, the clues left behind can still apply to those of you who live with your girlfriend.

By the way, just for a quick clarification, this blog frowns upon cheating on your wife or husband. Once you pull the trigger for marriage you should adhere to the vows and the contract you make. Plus, if you get caught most likely she’ll take half, and NO roll in the hay is worth that.
Now back to the article. I’m going to list the “9 Signs” and how to combat them in case your girlfriend decides to read that article.

Here are the 9 financial warning signs of infidelity:

1. Credit card statements that reflect charges for flowers, jewelry or other gift items that the spouse did not personally receive.

Solution:
As you know from my previous blogs, try to avoid leaving financial statements out in the open where your girlfriend can get her hands on them. These days you can choose to receive email or electronic statements that you have to log in on the credit card issuer’s web site to view. There is no reason to have a mailed statement go to you shared residence where your girl has access to it. Ensure that you log onto these accounts from work, your parents’ house, or a friend’s house in case your girlfriend has a key logging software installed on your home shared computer without your knowledge.

Also, you should try to pay for these items for your mistress in cash to reduce the paper trail.


2. Unauthorized or surprise withdrawals from joint bank accounts.

Solution:
Always keep a separate bank account and never make any type of withdrawal from a joint account that you have with your girlfriend. In fact, don’t ever establish a joint account with your girlfriend and you’ll never encounter this problem.


3. Deposit slips or bank statements that indicate the existence of a previously unknown checking or savings account in the wife's/husband's name only.

Solution:
Again subscribe to online statements and never print a receipt or keep any deposit slips. The less evidence you create the less there is to discover.


4. The liquidation of assets (stocks and bonds, stamp or coin collections, artwork, etc.) without a plausible explanation.

Solution:
Just don’t do this. If you own anything jointly with your girlfriend that you need to sell to cover some expense for your mistress, just borrow the money instead. Your girlfriend will always keep track of and demand to know where that money went since it was partly hers as well.


5. Misrepresentation of or failure to mention raises, bonuses or overtime pay.

Solution:
If you don’t have a joint checking account then you don’t have to explain to your girlfriend any increase in your income regardless of it being a raise, bonus, or overtime pay. She has no access to your account therefore she doesn’t know any better.

If you do have a joint account, however, then ask that any bonuses get paid to you on a separate check that you can deposit in your separate account. If you want to complicate things you can split your direct deposit from your employer to funnel extra money from raises to be deposited to your personal account while the rest goes into your joint account, you’ll just have to do some math to figure it out.


6. Income tax returns that reveal unexplained or previously unknown travel-related deductions.

Solution:
No deduction can be worth enough to call your relationship into jeopardy. Do not under any circumstances disclose any travel related deductions that pertain to your infidelity. It’s not worth it, especially if you figure that you get about $0.30 for every dollar deduction that you claim.


7. Financial records (canceled checks, receipts, money orders or other documents) that indicate a spouse is maintaining a separate residence or has been paying someone else's bills.

Solution:
First of all, never pay for your mistress’s bills or housing. That’s just plain stupid and makes you a sucker. Now you have two women dependent on you, your girlfriend and mistress. Plus you’re begging to get caught since it leaves too much of a paper trail that can be verified if need be.

Second, if you’re maintaining a second residence just rent a room and pay in cash, makes it much easier to hide any evidence of continuous monthly payments.


8. A sudden decrease in disposable income.

Solution:
Not much you can do about this one. If you have two women you have double the expenses so you’ll have to curtail some of your discretionary spending. However, if you can work your mistress in slowly the decrease should not be a sudden and therefore much less noticeable. Ease her in.


9. An increase in ATM withdrawals.

Solution:
Just make larger less frequent ATM withdrawals and budget ahead for your future dates with your mistress. Also this will keep the location of the ATM off of the statement so if your girlfriend is privy to that information she can’t ask questions about where you were and what you were doing there when you were supposed to be elsewhere.

As you can tell by reading my solutions most of your problems can be eliminated by not forming any joint financial accounts with your girlfriend and making sure that you receive all your financial statements electronically where only you have access to them.

Cheating can be hidden as long as you plan ahead and think about how you could potentially get caught. If there is no solution for a trail of evidence in your infidelity, then it’s not worth the risk. You can always find another girl or another way to cheat, you don’t have to jeopardize your relationship.

I want to thank both John MacDonald and Ruth Houston for the inspiration for this particular blog, my audience and I appreciate it.

Take Care,
A.C.


Add to del.icio.us

Infidelity on New Year’s Eve!

It’s the first day after Christmas Day and you still haven’t cut it off with your mistress.

Even after I warned you to give all your secondary women the boot after Thanksgiving and concentrate on only your girlfriend, you still hung in there.

You bought the extra presents and went through the additional hassle of the gift exchanges, maybe even showed up to their holiday parties, and now you have the whole New Year’s conundrum to deal with.

Multiple women want to spend New Year’s Eve with you, and only one of you to go around.
If you were smart then you had already planted a seed weeks ago letting your mistress know that you wouldn’t be available for New Years night. Maybe you told her you were going out of town with you friends, or you had plans made months ago that didn’t involve her.

If you you’re not such a forward thinker and you’re just coming to the realization that you’re in somewhat of a crisis, then you got problems.

The following solutions might help alleviate some of your concerns:

You shouldn’t use your family as an excuse for New Year’s Eve, she’ll either think you’re lying (which you are) or ask to come along so she can spend it with you and your family. In woman’s mind this escalates the relationship to the next level, which it would since bringing a girl to the family New Year’s Eve party means that you are serious about her. If you don’t invite her then she’ll be twice as angry or disappointed, since she won’t be able to ring in the New Year with you, and she could not secure an invite to the family party.

If you do decide to use the family party excuse, ensure that she doesn’t know which family member is hosting the party and that you tell her that it’s not at your house. I’m assuming since this is your mistress, she hasn’t met your parents and doesn’t know where they live, but if for some foolish reason she does you’ll be covered by using another relative’s residence for the imaginary shindig.

Don’t try to split your New Year’s Eve between your women either. It will just arouse suspicion from both of them. One will wonder why you only showed up an hour before midnight, while the other will be curious why you had to leave before you could kiss her at midnight. They both will have to explain why their man wasn’t with them for the entire night to their friends with enquiring minds, making for two unhappy and skeptical women in your life.

Most likely you will have to pick one of them (preferably your girlfriend, since she is your number one) and spend New Year’s with only her. If you haven’t done so already, then inform your mistress as soon as possible that you won’t be spending the night with her, that way she can hopefully make other plans. You want your mistress to have enough time to make alternate plans with her friends so she won’t be by herself, fuming at you. You never know what that might lead to, and you especially don’t want to leave her alone all night planning to check up on you to make sure you’re not out with another woman, which you are. You want her distracted, enjoying herself as best she can without you. On that note, you should not make any plans at your residence so you can avoid any unanticipated, angry women that might stop by.

Once you have made your decision concerning which woman you’ll be partying the night away with, you’ll have to come up with a very good excuse for the other one.
This is the hard part, this is why you’re reading this blog right now, hoping I can pull a rabbit out of a hat for you that will save your ass.

Nothing like that exists. You had your opportunity to get out of this mess a month ago. You didn’t want to, you procrastinated, or you were hoping for a miracle. You made your bed now you have to sleep in it.

Any excuse you use now will sound like a cop out, which it is, unless you have a doctor’s note and a stay in the hospital to prove otherwise.

Tell your mistress that you decided to party with your buddies instead, which will work, but she’ll probably be very pissed at you. She’ll want to come along, at which point you’ll have to turn her down and that’s when the hurt feelings will come into play. This will put a strain on your relationship that you’ll have to work hard to mend, unless you’re hoping it leads to a break up which most often times it does. The same result could have been accomplished weeks earlier had you manned up and broke up with her in the first place.

Be vague and non committal about what your plans for the night entail, giving her several options that you and you friends might engage in so she can’t pin you down on anything in particular. This is for your benefit so she can’t “accidentally” show up at the same bar you’re supposed to be at.

If this blog applied to you in any way, then you definitely have your New Year’s resolution already made out for you. A good cheater always thinks and plans far in advance to eliminate any last minute complications.

You New Years Resolution will be to ALWAYS PLAN AHEAD, when cheating on your girlfriend.

Take Care and have GREAT NEW YEAR.

A.C.

Add to del.icio.us

Reassuring Your Suspicious Girlfriend

In my last couple of blogs I answered a few of frequently asked questions from my readers, which prompted more questions.

One particular reader asked a couple of questions that I’m sure the majority of cheaters have experienced in their exploits, so I decided to share my answers to him with all the devoted readers of this blog.

If your girlfriend suspects you of cheating, how do you reassure her that you aren't?

If your girl suspects you of cheating then you've done something to give her that idea. Left clues, changed your behavior, changed you usual schedule or activities, in short you slipped up somewhere.

Figuring it out (if you don't already know) might be worthwhile, so you don’t commit the same mistake in the future. But this might prove be difficult undertaking for sometimes women just get a feeling, you know women’s intuition. But usually that intuition is sparked by something that is not right about you, or about your relationship, hence a small change in your demeanor that should go unnoticed might be the catalyst for her intuition.

If you can’t figure out what tipped her off, don’t waste too much time on it and spend your efforts on reassuring her nothing is wrong.

Start by curtailing your cheating for a few weeks, tell the mistress that you'll be busy for a while, you’ve picked up side job, or that you have some family issues to work out and you’ll be unavailable for the next couple of weeks.

Take this time away from your other women to rekindle the relationship with your girl before you started cheating, to reassure her that she is over reacting. Once your woman has calmed down and the turbulence has passed you can get back to your mistress, but more carefully this time.

What are good lies to tell your girlfriend about were you will be on a given night?

Always use excuses that she can't readily verify on her own. Here are few tried and true excuses you can start with and then tailor them to your own specific life.

Family:
Use your family. This is the most abundant resource you have available to you. When you need an excuse to get away from your girlfriend to spend time with your #2 or #3 women, do not hesitate to depend on your family, after all that's what they are there for. For multiple reasons this is you best excuse. One, your significant other cannot try to convince you to get out of it, or change your plans since this is your family and they take precedence. Second, since you put such a high importance on your "family activities" it makes you seem family oriented, which makes you look more attractive to women, since you are now seen as family oriented. Your girlfriend can’t question the amount of time you spend with your family so if particular “family function” happens to drag on longer than expected, she won’t break your balls with an interrogation.

Friends:
You need to have a couple of friends that you can use as an excuse. Make sure that these two specially selected friends can keep quiet about what you’re doing, especially to their own significant others. Also, always inform these friends if you’re going to use them as an excuse BEFORE you do, so you can get your stories straight upfront eliminating the scramble later on when your girlfriend is asking questions.

Work:
Using your place of employment might seem like a great excuse to create some time to cheat; telling your girlfriend your working late, that you will be in an extended meeting, and the most daring one of all; that you’ll be away on a business trip. But there is an inherent problem with these types of alibis, unless you work at a small company consisting of your friends, you will have no one who will lie for you. Sure you can get a buddy to cover for you in the office in case your girlfriend calls in to check on you, but what if the receptionist answers the call, or the call gets forwarded to your boss? Will they lie for you? Then you have to tell them why you are avoiding your own girlfriend, an uncomfortable scenario at the very least. What if your girlfriend is suspicious to the point where she shows up, or poses as your sister or mother on the phone to verify your whereabouts? There are just too many intangibles to use your job as safe alibi. If this is the best you can come up with, then at least use it sparingly.

Random:
Random, disposable excuses that you only use once work very well. They leave no discernable pattern, which means no matching variables for your girlfriend to dissect. If it’s a one time only excuse there is nothing to compare it to, meaning no anomalies to exploit. But you have to use these sparingly and during different time frames (i.e. don’t use different random excuses for the same time, on the same day of the week) otherwise that inherently negates the “randomness” of the excuse since certain facts remain similar. Stick to different excuses, on different days, during different windows of time (when you’re with your other women) and you’ll trigger far fewer women’s intuition alarm bells.

The key is to ensure she can't check up on what you're supposed to be doing.

Happy Holidays
A.C.


Add to del.icio.us

Why Stay With Your Girlfriend & Cheat on Her, Rather Than Break Up and Date Other Women Freely?

Continuing with the theme from last week, I going to answer another one of frequently asked questions/offered suggestions from readers.

Don’t cheat on your girlfriend, just do the honorable thing and break up with her and be single if you want to date multiple women.

This is easier said than done. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that it’s not quite that easy to break up with someone, let alone someone that you care about and have feelings for.

At this point I always get the response “How can you say that you care about someone if you’re cheating on him/her?” That’s an entirely different discussion which I have addressed frequently and will again, but not in this blog.

For the sake of this discussion we will assume that if you’re in a relationship with someone you have some sort of feelings for that person and care about them to a certain extent.
So why not break up, and pursue other women without any restrictions?

Like I mentioned before, you might have feelings for your girlfriend and want to stay with her, but at the same time want to be with other women sexually. That’s probably the most common reason for men. We don’t want to break up with our women, we just want to have our cake and eat it too, after all what good is the cake if you can’t eat it?

Perhaps you have a certain tie to your girlfriend that doesn’t allow for a quick, easy breakup.
-You live with your girlfriend.
-You and your girlfriend have children together.
-You have financial ties to her that make a breakup an unviable option.

There are some guys just don’t know how to break up with their women and are scared of the confrontation. So they figure if they get caught dating another woman, their girlfriend might do them a favor and leave them. Not saying I endorse this method, but if this is the only way you can get out of your relationship then maybe it might be worth it for you.

For some people these reasons probably don’t seem all that strong or legitimate enough to deceive their significant other and cheat on them. But for others, it does. Remember it’s easy to judge and make painless decisions when you don’t have any skin in the game. You have to have walked in the other person’s shoes before you can understand the full scope of issues and emotions they are dealing with.

If any of you can have other reasons why you rather stay with your girlfriend and cheat on her, rather than break up and date other women freely, feel free to comment.

Take Care,

A.C.


Add to del.icio.us