Friday, March 28, 2008

Infidelity on Your Birthday

With my birthday coming up soon I thought I would address a much overlooked issue for cheaters; their respective birthdays.

When dating multiple women one of the first facts they all usually inquire about is your birth date. Not to determine how old you are, but to derive the actual day so they can file it away in their memories, and plan something for you on that day.

They are trying to show that they care about you, planning something sweet. But unknown to them they are planning to cause a great deal of stress.Obviously it would be hard to celebrate your birthday with multiple women on the same day, going from one date or party to another would not only be tiring but a easy way of getting caught. Most likely they would want to spend the entire day with you making it exceedingly difficult for you to get away to another birthday celebration.

I have personally faced this dilemma numerous times and devised only one real strategy to avoid the problem; I lie.

I only tell my girlfriend, my number one girl, my real birth day. I usually tell my secondary women a different day in the same month. That way if they ever get a look at my ID I can tell them the DMV made a mistake/typo on the date and I never went back to change it. I usually try to space it out about a week apart, so if my real birth is on the 15th then I tell my mistresses that my birthday is on the 5th or the 25th (which backs up my claim that it was a DMV typo on my ID). The real trick is to remember which girl you told which date to, that’s just something you will have to make a mental note of.

Once you have your alternate birthdays established you have to make sure that your women stick to that time frame, and they don’t plan to celebrate your birthday the weekend after because they couldn’t get tickets, book a hotel room, or whatever reason might postpone it. You have to let them know early enough (1 month before) that the week after and before your birthday you have plans just so you can constrain their plans to that week that you have allocated for them.

This method works best and arouses the least suspicion. In the past I have tried to have my other women celebrate my birthday a week after or before the actual date and they always made a big deal and asked questions about why they couldn’t spend the actual day with me. They were upset that they weren’t important enough in my life to spend my birthday with me that my friends were more important, or they just accused me of having another girl I was celebrating with. They were right, about all those things but I didn’t need the headaches.

Once I decided to lie about my birth day all those ancillary issues stopped, and they will for you too. You just have to remember when your alternate birthdays are.

Take Care,

A.C.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have to disagree with you on this. Lying about your birthday is a mouth you will have to feed forever. Also wouldn't your mistress find it suspicious that your real friends aren't celebrating your birthday with you? This makes you look like a recluse and anti-social.

I think that it is important to keep a group of friends who are under the impress you are constantly dating and another group that knows about your real girlfriend. Of course these groups should never hang out together.