Hiding Financial Signs of Infidelity

I came across an article on CNBC today that I thought was quite interesting; “9 financial signs of marital infidelity,” (http://www.bankrate.com/cnbc/news/pf/20080103_marital_infidelity_a1.asp), by Jay MacDonald.

This was originally taken from "Is He Cheating On You? 829 Telltale Signs," by Ruth Houston.
Even though our blog is dedicated to Cheating On Your GIRLFRIEND and Not Getting Caught, not cheating on your SPOUSE, the clues left behind can still apply to those of you who live with your girlfriend.

By the way, just for a quick clarification, this blog frowns upon cheating on your wife or husband. Once you pull the trigger for marriage you should adhere to the vows and the contract you make. Plus, if you get caught most likely she’ll take half, and NO roll in the hay is worth that.
Now back to the article. I’m going to list the “9 Signs” and how to combat them in case your girlfriend decides to read that article.

Here are the 9 financial warning signs of infidelity:

1. Credit card statements that reflect charges for flowers, jewelry or other gift items that the spouse did not personally receive.

Solution:
As you know from my previous blogs, try to avoid leaving financial statements out in the open where your girlfriend can get her hands on them. These days you can choose to receive email or electronic statements that you have to log in on the credit card issuer’s web site to view. There is no reason to have a mailed statement go to you shared residence where your girl has access to it. Ensure that you log onto these accounts from work, your parents’ house, or a friend’s house in case your girlfriend has a key logging software installed on your home shared computer without your knowledge.

Also, you should try to pay for these items for your mistress in cash to reduce the paper trail.


2. Unauthorized or surprise withdrawals from joint bank accounts.

Solution:
Always keep a separate bank account and never make any type of withdrawal from a joint account that you have with your girlfriend. In fact, don’t ever establish a joint account with your girlfriend and you’ll never encounter this problem.


3. Deposit slips or bank statements that indicate the existence of a previously unknown checking or savings account in the wife's/husband's name only.

Solution:
Again subscribe to online statements and never print a receipt or keep any deposit slips. The less evidence you create the less there is to discover.


4. The liquidation of assets (stocks and bonds, stamp or coin collections, artwork, etc.) without a plausible explanation.

Solution:
Just don’t do this. If you own anything jointly with your girlfriend that you need to sell to cover some expense for your mistress, just borrow the money instead. Your girlfriend will always keep track of and demand to know where that money went since it was partly hers as well.


5. Misrepresentation of or failure to mention raises, bonuses or overtime pay.

Solution:
If you don’t have a joint checking account then you don’t have to explain to your girlfriend any increase in your income regardless of it being a raise, bonus, or overtime pay. She has no access to your account therefore she doesn’t know any better.

If you do have a joint account, however, then ask that any bonuses get paid to you on a separate check that you can deposit in your separate account. If you want to complicate things you can split your direct deposit from your employer to funnel extra money from raises to be deposited to your personal account while the rest goes into your joint account, you’ll just have to do some math to figure it out.


6. Income tax returns that reveal unexplained or previously unknown travel-related deductions.

Solution:
No deduction can be worth enough to call your relationship into jeopardy. Do not under any circumstances disclose any travel related deductions that pertain to your infidelity. It’s not worth it, especially if you figure that you get about $0.30 for every dollar deduction that you claim.


7. Financial records (canceled checks, receipts, money orders or other documents) that indicate a spouse is maintaining a separate residence or has been paying someone else's bills.

Solution:
First of all, never pay for your mistress’s bills or housing. That’s just plain stupid and makes you a sucker. Now you have two women dependent on you, your girlfriend and mistress. Plus you’re begging to get caught since it leaves too much of a paper trail that can be verified if need be.

Second, if you’re maintaining a second residence just rent a room and pay in cash, makes it much easier to hide any evidence of continuous monthly payments.


8. A sudden decrease in disposable income.

Solution:
Not much you can do about this one. If you have two women you have double the expenses so you’ll have to curtail some of your discretionary spending. However, if you can work your mistress in slowly the decrease should not be a sudden and therefore much less noticeable. Ease her in.


9. An increase in ATM withdrawals.

Solution:
Just make larger less frequent ATM withdrawals and budget ahead for your future dates with your mistress. Also this will keep the location of the ATM off of the statement so if your girlfriend is privy to that information she can’t ask questions about where you were and what you were doing there when you were supposed to be elsewhere.

As you can tell by reading my solutions most of your problems can be eliminated by not forming any joint financial accounts with your girlfriend and making sure that you receive all your financial statements electronically where only you have access to them.

Cheating can be hidden as long as you plan ahead and think about how you could potentially get caught. If there is no solution for a trail of evidence in your infidelity, then it’s not worth the risk. You can always find another girl or another way to cheat, you don’t have to jeopardize your relationship.

I want to thank both John MacDonald and Ruth Houston for the inspiration for this particular blog, my audience and I appreciate it.

Take Care,
A.C.


Add to del.icio.us