Friday, October 26, 2007

Getting Caught Cheating by Your Girlfriend’s Coworker

The coworker scenario rears its ugly head once again. If you had followed my advice and avoided your girlfriend’s work functions then you wouldn’t be in this dilemma. Well hindsight’s 20/20 right? What you want to know is how to handle this problem, read on then.

Caught by Your Girlfriend’s Co-workerIf a co-worker catches you, then you have more options at your disposal than with the previously mentioned scenarios.

More than likely your girlfriend has already told you her involvement with this coworker at the office when giving you background on them before or during the introduction at that fateful office function you attended.

Armed with this knowledge you should have a good idea of how closely this coworker interacts with your girlfriend.

If you have a pretty good feeling that the coworker who caught you doesn’t have a close relationship with your girlfriend then you can act casual about the whole incident since they probably don’t know your girlfriend’s personal situation very well. Make it appear as if nothing is wrong making them assume that you and your girlfriend are no longer dating (this will help explain it to the woman your with as well) and speak of your girlfriend in the past tense. Once everyone has gone their separate ways, wait to see if your girlfriend ever mentions that her coworker saw you. If not then your little rouse worked and the coworker assumed you two were no longer together. Under no circumstances should you even mention that you saw one of her coworkers, this will lead her to ask that coworker questions which will result in the truth coming out. Stay quiet and you should be able to get out of this without any problems.

If the coworker is close with your girlfriend, then you’ll have to be contrite and tell the coworker that you know what you did was wrong, and to allow you a chance to tell your girlfriend personally, since you think it should come from you rather than someone else. This will allow you to spin the story in whatever direction you think will save your relationship. Make sure you tell your girlfriend in the following two days, that’s about the window of opportunity that you’ll have before the coworker spills the beans for you.

Sometimes, depending on how close this co-worker is with your girlfriend you can even be as bold to ask them not say anything and to please keep the matter just between the two of you. Sometimes they will agree to this just to avoid the embarrassment of having to tell their co-worker, your girlfriend, about having seen her boyfriend cheating on her.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series, but as you can see most of the time your options are limited and not very good. If you can employ my techniques on how not to get caught, hopefully you’ll never have a reason to use any of the tactics in this particular series.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,

A.C.


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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Getting Caught Cheating by Your Girlfriend’s Family

In the last edition we discussed what to do if you get caught by your girlfriend’s friend. In this edition we discuss getting caught by her family, a much more volatile situation.

Caught by Your Girlfriend’s Family
If you get caught by one of your girlfriend’s family members, as always, it all depends on who catches you.

If it’s a distant cousin, uncle, or an in law then you have an opportunity to reason with them in the same way as if you were caught by one of her friends. They probably don’t really want to deal with the whole situation, having to tell your girlfriend the bad news. So you might be able to get away with one there by promising to tell your girlfriend yourself and then simply not following through. Hopefully the next time your girlfriend will see this family member will be so far in the future that it will be a moot point, or the family member has forgotten. Just make sure you don’t show up to your girlfriend’s family functions for a while, so you don’t provide an opportunity for that distant cousin to remember. You know what they say, out of sight out of mind.

But if it’s her immediate family such as her Mother, Father, Sister or Brother then most likely they will be so upset with you that they won't give you the opportunity to explain yourself. They will go straight to your girlfriend and tell her what they know right after they let you know exactly what they think of you.

Getting caught this way is particularly bad since this person is in her family, and every time your girlfriend looks at this relative she will be reminded of your indiscretion. So the chance of her forgiving and forgetting, and moving on with your relationship will be very difficult.

Plus, gossip in within family spreads like wild fire and soon most relatives will know what you did. Since family always sticks together you just have made a gang of new enemies. Imagine how this might feel at a Christmas party with her family present, not a very inviting scene.
If you have been caught by your girlfriend’s family, let us know what happened and how you managed the situation.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with circumstances that offer a greater opportunity for you save your relationship with your girl.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,
A.C.

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Friday, October 12, 2007

Getting Caught Cheating by Your Girlfriend’s Friend

In the last edition we discussed what to do if you get caught by your girlfriend, that’s obviously the worst that could happen. If you get caught by someone else you have some options available to you. From here on out things get easier, in comparison to the aforementioned predicament.
As always, it all depends on who catches you. Today we will discuss how to handle one of your girlfriend’s friends getting wise to your infidelity.

Caught by Your Girlfriend’s Friends
If a friend of your girlfriend’s catches you, your woman will know by the end of the day, thus it’s imperative that you act quickly and decisively. If you know that you have been caught, you can try to reason with this friend but it‘ll most likely fall upon deaf ears since her allegiance is to your girlfriend, not to you. You can tell the friend that you know what you did was wrong, and to allow you a chance to tell your girlfriend personally, since you think it should come from you rather than someone else. To certain people this might actually make you seem somewhat contrite and hopefully they will grant you this favor, and save them the awkward situation of having to reveal this information themselves.

But how is this any different than the friend telling your girlfriend, after all she will find out either way, right? Well, right and wrong. Yes, she will find out, but it if you want to have any hopes of salvaging your relationship then it is far more important that it comes from you. Somehow there is some sort of virtuous feeling involved if you take it upon yourself, plus most women would rather find out from their significant other rather than from a third party. Finally, and most importantly, this will allow you to spin the story in whatever direction you need to save your relationship.

By personally confessing your sins to your girlfriend you will catch her off guard and you will have a chance to tell her your "story" while she is still in shock and disbelief. But if she finds out from a third party, by the time she gets to you she will have had plenty of time to build up her anger and she will be seeking to release that on you. She won't care what you have to say since she will be far too upset to listen.

Also, if YOU tell her, it will save her the public embarrassment of having someone else tell her, giving the situation an air of discretion.

Remember as long as you control the information you can soften the blow by selectively revealing and camouflaging aspects of your indiscretions, as opposed to your girlfriend getting the gory embellished details from her friend. By the time it gets discussed between the two of them the focus will be on your girlfriend’s pain and healing rather than what actually happened, which can make the difference in saving your relationship.

All your girlfriend needs to know is that you were unfaithful, the details can and should be minimized by you. Damage control, take the initiative and tell her yourself, but only tell her what you want her to know.

I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with circumstances that offer a greater opportunity for you save your relationship with your girl.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,

A.C.

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Friday, October 5, 2007

If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend Part 1

All right, worst-case scenario: you get caught. I have two words for you; crisis management. What you’ll have to do (and quickly I might add) is to minimize the crisis as much as possible.
I know this is a situation that you probably don’t even want to think about, let alone plan for. But any good player knows they must have a contingency plan in place for the most unfortunate of circumstances. You should be prepared for the worst and if that never comes to fruition, then you can consider yourself lucky that you weathered the storm.

Chances are the more you cheat, the more the odds will stack up against you. You're better off mentally preparing yourself for the inevitable, as well as having a plan to fall back on, instead of standing there with you mouth agape, flushed with embarrassment with an inability to say anything in your defense.

At this point information is your best friend. You’ll have to find out how you got caught, who saw you, how much they saw, how much they know, and most importantly whether your girlfriend knows about it yet.

First things first, it all depends on who catches you. This might seem immaterial since the truth of the matter is that you have been exposed, but you have some options depending on whom you are discovered by.

Caught by Your Girlfriend
This is again, obviously the worst-case scenario, that’s why I am addressing it first. If your girlfriend catches you, in most instances you are screwed and your relationship is over. However, it depends on the degree to which you are caught with your pants down, if you will. If she only finds traces of another girl, perhaps some panties or a romantic letter, then you might be able to deceive her into believing that those are left over from a previous relationship that you kept as a memento.

You might be able to fast talk her out of leaving you since she does not have irrefutable evidence that you actually slept with someone else, therefore she does not have the graphic image of you engaging in a sexual act with another woman. That is very important since the mental image of you with another woman will live with her forever.

If previous relationship memento leftover lie does not apply, then you can try and own up to some of your infidelity by admitting that some new girl had been showing you interest and somehow managed to catch your attention. But you realized that it was wrong and have put a stop to it, and that you were trying to find the right time to talk about it. This will still keep the door open, however slightly, to reconciliation and perhaps your girlfriend’s forgiveness.
But if your girlfriend finds a used condom or walks in on you engaging in sexual activity with another girl, it’s over. She will have that image in her mind and it will forever burn in her memory making it unbearable for her to remain in a relationship with you. You might as well save yourself the time and indignity of groveling for her forgiveness; accept that you made a mistake and move on.

As for the girl you got caught with, if she doesn't know you have a girlfriend, you can kiss her goodbye as well. You cheated on your girlfriend with her, making her feel like a home wrecker, so why would she want a relationship with you after that? You already demonstrated your unfaithfulness to your girlfriend, why would she think you would be true to her?

With the doomsday scenario addressed, I will continue the If You Get Caught Cheating On Your Girlfriend series with circumstances that offer a greater opportunity for you save your relationship with your girl.

Stay Tuned.

Take Care,
A.C.

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